I recently read Bread & Wine
by Shauna Niequist and it has gotten me thinking about the charism and ministry of hospitality in our day-to-day life.In Bread & Wine
Niequist has created a compilation of essays and her favourite recipes that come together in a wonderful and insightful food memoir of sorts. She talks about the importance of food, hospitality and entertaining and how closely these things intertwine with relationship, community, and sharing faith and love.I enjoyed the read, but maybe had higher expectations than what the book delivered. This may be because I thought this was going to be a little more hands-on, more of a guide to learning to love cooking and entertaining, or how to embrace more hospitality. And although her spiritual insights were inspiring and very true, I couldn't help but think, "This is such a Catholic concept, yet she's writing as if it's an amazing new discovery!" Which is a thought that occurs to me often when reading evangelical Christian books, and not with an attitude of snobbery, reveals to me yet another way in which all truth is Catholic.
Recent holy Catholics like Catherine Doherty and Dorothy Day have believed strongly in all the aspects of hospitality feeding the soul and nurturing those in need at a most basic level, as well as a long Catholic tradition and ministry of feeding the hungry and clothing the naked which has led to a very deep tradition of the virtue and beauty of hospitality.
I really enjoy entertaining, cooking, hosting, throwing a good party. But I know it's not everyone's cup of tea, and I think this book is good for encouraging those who may feel hesitant. The book makes the point that we shouldn't be trying to impress, but trying to minister and love those we invite into our home. We really build relationship and community with those we share food with, and opening our home is builds this strong community through casual meals and get-togethers. We should maybe be pushing outside our comfort zones a little to create something that builds a culture of people who want to spend time with one another, enjoy each other's company, celebrate each other's goals and share each other's sorrows.
Niequist's style of entertaining and hospitality isn't quite as the same as mine however. While I may dream of creating luxurious evening dinner parties consisting solely of adults while not having to serve toddler food, what happens in reality is usually hosting for more than 10 people with the majority of guests being under the age of 10. I wish this type of entertaining would be more elegantly thought of because it doesn't have to be complicated or fancy, but it can still be delicious and flavourful while done with easy style. We shouldn't cut ourselves off from entertaining because our families and circles of friends are larger than the norm. It's an important way can we minister to each other as families, and continue to build a more family friendly and Catholic culture for ourselves and our children.
Niequist's attitude and love of food is contagious. I hope I can put her beautiful attitude about sharing her love of others, journeying with friends and family through life and all it's difficulties, and just enjoyment of eating and cooking into practice.
Are you a food memoir-aholic like me? Or does the idea of cooking and cleaning and entertaining more than your kids leave you moving towards the couch?
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I wish my home was a place where people gathered and built community. Kind of. It sounds nice, but the introvert in me screams run away! I'm hoping to come out of my comfort zone a little as soon as we move somewhere where we can seat more than three people at our table.
ReplyDeleteI'm also an introvert who wishes that I were good at hosting parties. I don't know for a fact that I'm bad at it, and I certainly like having people over and caring for them with a good meal…but I get so insecure about it!
ReplyDeleteI think this is something we all feel Jenny, but I do think that the more you do it, the more you'll feel comfortable. I think we let our fears of insecurity stop us a lot, or at least I do, but putting our toes in will help us jump in!
DeleteThis is really helpful. Everyone's been raving about this book but my library didn't have it so I checked out her other book Cold Tangerines instead with a vague sense of "well if one of them is good, they're bound to both be good, right?" I'm not sure if it was her tone or what but I just couldn't get past the first few chapters and gave it up as a lost cause.
ReplyDeleteI was interested in the book because we love to have people over for dinner at our house and we're always picking up stragglers--which is easy with my husband being in the military, there are always lonely sailors who could use a home cooked meal! Plus their standards are usually so low in the dinner department that I don't feel pressure to perform :) I also like to have our friends with kids over too, but right now it's just so much easier to host singles or young families with just one oh-so-portable baby. We can eat, put our kids down for bed and then enjoy adult conversation with minimal interruptions for water and bathroom trips :)
I think that's great! I think hospitality really matters when it's simply casual. I think that was a major point Shauna was trying to make with this book too. It's the simply dinners that build community and relationships, not fancy events. It gets more challenging with kids, I know from experience! But we still try to make it happen.
DeleteYou have inspired me! Unfortunately entertaining overwhelms me. :( From cooking for a big group to the clean up after is pretty exhausting, BUT I love the idea of building community and sharing life over food. I love it. And, it is inspiring me to get out of my comfort zone! :)
ReplyDeleteIt can be exhausting! But I think we have to try and make it a little more casual and maybe a little more often so that we can get used to it and enjoy entertaining more. It's tough getting out of your particular comfort zone, and if it takes us a while that's ok.
DeleteI've heard so many good things about this book and am grateful for your insight on it. Like you, I also very much love entertaining and welcoming people into our home! What I'm not so hot at is cooking...definitely something I need work/help with! Is it worth reading for the recipes along with the insights?
ReplyDeleteI think her recipes are pretty simple and approachable. I've tried several and they've been good. I think they're perfect for beginners or those of us trying to build confidence in our own cooking skills!
DeleteI love it when people start thinking about the practice of hospitality! I feel like my generation goes out to eat, rather than inviting others into our homes, as was more normal for our parents.
ReplyDeleteWe host a weekly open house, where we invite friends and family to just drop by for either games or music. It's kind of potluck, but not totally food focused which lessens prep and clean up. People usually bring beer, and I just sneak away for 45 minutes to put le baby down. I've loved it. It's building community and deepening relationships and because it's weekly and casual, there's not a ton of extra stress on me. It's been a great way to feel connected while I've been home bound.
Yes! I feel that way too! Our generation doesn't really want to entertain and it's so sad. We want to go out or we just don't have any skills when it comes to hospitality- which is welcoming someone into your home. We can't leave our home out of it! It just doesn't build community the same way I feel. Your weekly open house sounds great! When can I come by?
DeleteI love this topic! I am a total introvert, but after reading this post (http://www.likemotherlikedaughter.org/2013/07/capturing-context-of-contentment-in-2/) from Leila of Like Mother, Like Daughter, I felt like she had just challenged me in the most personal and convicting way. I knew that I couldn't let my excuse of being an introvert stop me from also being a good friend to those around me. Soooo... I volunteered to host the monthly book club meetings, and threw a (Catholic, because the holiday is a Catholic one...) Halloween party, and a few other things. And you know what? I didn't die. I can't say I don't have some stress about it and that I do more worrying than is necessary, but it all turns out really well when good friends get together and I'm always thinking, "Why don't we do this more often?" as the people chat and munch and enjoy each others' company. As for books, I really like Edie Wadsworth's ebook about hopitality (I think you can find it on her blog, Life in Grace) and An Everlasting Meal always inspires me to get in the kitchen!
ReplyDeleteWow, that's really great! And it's so true, we just kind of have to start and put ourselves out there and try and hopefully with a little practice it'll become easier and less stressful. I love Edie too! Her whole blog is really inspiring when it comes to creating a welcoming home and practicing hospitality. I haven't read An Everlasting Meal though, putting it on my list!
DeleteCan I answer both/and to your question? Ah, the ministry of hospitality. It incorporates acts of charity, acts of humility, and the corporal works of mercy! Feeding the hungry, and I believe that drinking with parents of young children is akin to visiting the imprisoned.
ReplyDelete@ Jessica- bahahaha :)
ReplyDeleteI loved Bread and Wine and Cold Tangerines. Just my style. ;) :)
As for hospitality, I'm with Haley, I can't do the fancy dinner party thing very often right now. But we do have friends over for lunch after mass occasionally. So important, me thinks.