Little Traditions, Big Rewards: Living Liturgically to Grow Faith

I can hardly believe yesterday was the last Sunday of the liturgical calendar.

Maybe it's my kids getting older and wiser, or maybe it's me getting older and....tired-er?...but each passing year seems to fly by faster. And it's equally true for observing the liturgical calendar. I could swear we just made it through Lent, celebrated a joyous Easter, lived it up with the great feast of Pentecost, and now we're here just having celebrated the Feast of Christ the King.

Just the other day I completely missed the boat on Martinmas. Completely. Like, it was November 14 and the thought of St. Martin of Tours and lanterns just began to dawn in my mind. (The feast of St. Martin of Tours is November 11...3 days before I even contemplated it.) It is hard to keep up with all the major feast days.

I would love a personal liturgical assistant (I would also love for this mythical personal liturgical assistant to be Kendra) who would prep, shop, craft, cook, and decorate for me prior to the actual feast day. I would love to wake up and have a kid's craft completely prepared for the kid's to work on without me having to even click into Pinterest. Or a gourmet ethnic meal simmering on the stove while I leisurely sip tea and eat bonbons.

But I'm living in a world where my mornings are devoted to school with my kids, the afternoons fly by with everything else that needs to get done, and by dinner time I am booking it to get some food on the dinner table. I have very, very little margin in my regular old, real, everyday life to be planning anything or decorating anything. I just still feel very maxed out. I'm out of survival mode, and living fully in maxed out mode.

But that doesn't mean that making memories with my family and instilling a love of the Church through observing the liturgical year is not a really important goal and value in my life. I am so glad that the little things I have done have cemented their way into my kid's little brains.

And let me tell you if you're currently in survival mode and/or just enjoying your baby or toddler, start now with the little traditions you want your family to love! Set up those Advent candles, celebrate your family's baptismal days with store bought cupcakes, let your little boys dress up as knights on the feast of St. George, whatever it is you like doing that is tied to the liturgical year, do it and start small.

You will be shocked at how quickly kids notice things that happen every year and start asking for them themselves. And the best thing is that little kids are so easily impressed! Take advantage of this and aim low. My kids love the special St. Patrick's books we own and love being able to find them in March. They love special nights when we just light candles while we say evening prayers for their baptism day or name day. Roasting marshmallows on the feast of Pentecost or the Nativity of St. John the Baptist is low work on your part and high excitement reward for littles!

I have been blown away with how traditions grab little hearts. We think that we should constantly be trying new things, entertaining our kids with the new and exciting, but what little hearts crave is tradition. They long for stability, to know they can expect and trust in things in their lives. The little things we do to celebrate tradition, which is really what the liturgical calendar is all about, are what build the trust in the love of God that we are really trying to give to our children. 

So we might not be able to do it all. We might not be able to celebrate all the feast days we want to, the way we want to. But I am telling you that the little things add up to big things in the eyes and hearts of our kids. So start small and start today.

And hey, maybe one day I'll be able to make lanterns for St. Martin and an Indian meal for St. Teresa of Calcutta -- I can dream!


The best news I've got for you today is Jenna's new book. If you're looking for simple and straightforward ideas for the liturgical calendar The Lazy Liturgical has got you completely covered. Jenna goes through the entire year, emphasizing the important feasts of the Church and different saint days and gives simple ideas that don't involve complicated crafts or tons of sugar. It's a great way to not stress about the liturgical year yourself, but to start traditions with your kids now. Head over to her Etsy shop to pick up your copy today!

Today Jenna is generously giving one Fountains of Home reader a hard copy of her book, just enter away, you've got till Advent! 

a Rafflecopter giveaway

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Mother Teresa and Me

I realize now that the title to this post makes you think I have a dramatic Mother Teresa story like those one you sometimes hear. But no, I didn't cross her path when I was 12 years old and decide to become a nun then and there. Nor did I eat, pray, love my way through India and happen upon her houses and made a radical conversion to the Faith. Although, both those stories would be awesome and I hope someone is writing those memoirs for me to someday read!

But I have been thinking about Mother Teresa lately because of her upcoming canonization, and I've come to the conclusion that her words have really had a profound effect on my life. Not that her words have so much as dramatically changed my life's path, but they really have helped form my view of vocation, kindness, and what attitude to have in life. Which are pretty big things when you start thinking about them.

I think I picked up her phrase "Let no one ever come to you without leaving better and happier. Be the living expression of God's kindness; kindness in your face, kindest in your eyes, kindness in your smile" early on. For some reason it really stuck with me. Maybe because I've never felt naturally empathetic or compassionate, something about this quote struck me that the little things I do can matter -- and even I can smile.

I'm the first to tell you that my every encounter with every person in my life is not blessed with Mother Teresa's compassion, but I can smile! The first step on the long road to becoming a saint with Mother Teresa's compassion may be smiling at the stranger, smiling at the person who gets on your nerves the most, smiling when you child asks you for the 600th time for raisins.

"Where God has put you, that is your vocation. It is not what we do but how much love we put into it." This kept me going through much second guessing, soul searching, wondering what would become of me in my early years, and even my early married years when I was trying to figure out just what this vocation would mean for me. These words hold a beautiful simplicity that's easy to go back to when things feel complicated and confusing. Mother Teresa's wisdom was poignant and simple, a sure testament to her holiness I think.

"Where does love begin? It begins at home. Let us learn to love in our family. In our own family we may have very poor people, and we do not notice them, We have no time to smile, no time to talk to each other,. Let us bring that love, that tenderness into our own home and you will see the difference." I think these words have shaped what I want my home to be, and have given me direction when I feel useless at mothering. My work is important. Even if I cannot be rescuing the dying off the streets of Calcutta, and I can still participate in the same calling to love as Mother Teresa. Isn't that an crazy and amazing aspect of our Faith? That even though we're not spiritual giants or devoted our entire lives to heroic feats of compassion, that we can still live the same way the saints do? That's really what faith does, what living a life of love does. I need to keep reminding myself of this often when the little things around my house feel like drudgery or even meaningless; the love of a home and of a family are so important.

I've been both inspired and refreshed by this wonderful book Works of Love Are Works of Peace. The photographs of Mother Teresa, her sisters, and their work are staggeringly beautiful. It is so revealing to see them caring for those who otherwise would never have experienced love, but also to see the human faces of those whom she helped. I think we are all blown away by the way Mother Teresa served others and lived her life and that's why her words carry so much importance and meaning. The chosen quotes and prayers of Mother Teresa go along perfectly with the beauty of the photographs, together it brings about a wonderful testament and experience of St. Teresa of Calcutta. This book would really make a wonderful gift for the Mother Teresa fan in your life(we all have em!) or just a personal tool in your own prayer life. I'm so looking forward to our Church celebrating St. Teresa of Calcutta as part of the Communion of Saints!


Ignatius Press gave me a review copy of this lovely book for review, but my opinions are entirely my own!

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Holy Week thoughts on the everyday cross

As usual Holy Week arrives and carries us towards the Triduum in unexpected ways...except with a kid getting sick, because a kid always gets sick in Holy Week. (Or I go into labor. Ok, that only happened once, but I stand by the "kid always getting sick in Holy Week" axiom.)

It's funny that I can't let go of expectations for Lent and Holy Week even though each year my expectations are drastically not met because God completely goes off my plans and throws in new things. God doesn't follow my plans? What? My expectations usually aren't too big and exciting either, but even my lowly ones are changed and that in of itself always is a suffering to me who hates to have plans disrupted.

Every year I want to walk through Holy Week like a monastic. With loads of prayer and fasting, Tenebrae and adoration, silence and observation. But without fail plans change, I can't even make it to each Triduum liturgy, I'm usually running around trying to find pants for kids 15 minutes before Mass begins, and I forgot to buy an extra something for the Easter baskets.

It's hard to realize and accept that the little sufferings we're given are our sufferings. What we want to do with God we often can't. What we think shouldn't be difficult is. What we're meant to offer up as we walk with Jesus through his Passion is often the things we ignore, dismiss, or don't consider something worthy enough to offer as suffering along with Christ's in this week.

That's been one of my revelations to me this Lent -- that I've got more crosses than I'd care to admit. Which feels like the opposite of a Lenten revelation, because I feel most people come out of Lent realizing they've got so darn much to be thankful for.

I'm not talking about giant crosses that are new to my life, I'm talking about small crosses that almost build up without me noticing but have added up to quite a burden I wasn't even aware of. But even these small sufferings, the sufferings we don't choose or even see at times, are meant to be offered along with Christ's sufferings. The problem is if you don't even know they're there and weighing you down, you can't offer them up.

In that regard it's good to acknowledge the little burdens, the constant ones. Because there's a lot of grace waiting for us, and a lot of good that can come from offering our sufferings.

That's my Holy Week takeaway this year, what I've gleaned from a Lent that trudged through in a pretty ordinary way. But I've got a lot of hope in the joy of Easter.

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Seven Quick Takes vol. 125

Joining Kelly the Pioneer Woman for Seven Quick ones.

{one}

Oh guys, it's a beautiful summer week around here. It's been hot enough to break out the hose, the kiddie pool, and to let certain toddlers run around naked outside. It's really great. I just want to get that out there. Summer is great=newsflash, I know. You're coming here for revelations aren't you?

{two}

I'm kinda digging for positives this week though to be honest. Not that life is terrible, or giant bad things have happened, but this week has been so hard parenting wise. I'm not sure what has changed. I homeschool, my kids are around me all the time, summer is not exactly a big change, but I'm really feeling worn down. Just the same dealing with constant discipline issues, and tantrums, and a more difficult child than usual. Is it just me? Am I losing my parenting grip? Do I need to go back to parenting school for a refresher? Is it just because he's a difficult child? It's not that it's a bunch of terrible things, but more of a constant dealing with screaming, obstinance, refusing to listen, constant arguments, tantrums. And his behaviour is light years better when it's just dad at home. I'm just not sure what I should be doing, but simultaneously feeling like I really stink at this job and sorta want to give up and he's only three! 

{three}

At the same time, it seems so far that my kids really have a hard time being three. It's been the hardest age for all my kids so far, so I know logically that it will get better. But in the day to day it is really hard to keep that in mind. 

I think I need a break. Or a restart. Or something! Ahh!! Just going a little crazy, nothing to see here.

{four}

Today I'm writing the devotion at Blessed Is She. Today's Mass readings include the story of God speaking to Abraham and the establishment of the covenant between God and Abraham. What struck me was that God wanted to use Abram's marriage to establish this important covenant between himself and humanity. He could have used anything, but the emphasis on marriage really struck me when I wrote this devotion about two months ago. 

I’ve always found the story of Abraham fascinating because it seems like a strange story that one of God’s first ways of revealing Himself to man would take place within the context of a man’s relationship with his wife. Not with a king or ruler deciding the fates of people or the building of temples, but God communicating with a man about the relationship he has with his wife and the building of a family. 

Click on over to read the whole thing!

{five}

I had no idea that this devotion about marriage would be published on this day when such a monumental decision was made by SCOTUS. Marriage isn't something that's malleable to human desires and wants. Although, we've been living throughout the last century or so as if it is. Courts, public opinion, laws, may say marriage is one thing but we can't get around the reality that God believes in the importance of marriage between a man and a woman. 

Five people decided for a whole country what marriage means. Five. Can we just think about that on a democratic level for a second? How do five unelected people have so much power? I find that to compound the error of this decision. We've lost so much when it comes to fundamental understanding of what freedom means, democracy means, truth means. 

{six}

On a cheerier note! Haley and I had a fun time talking books again on another book swap episode of the podcast! I know that these episodes are kinda hit or miss it seems, it seems people either really love them or don't listen to them at all, but this time we discussed to really interesting books and I thought it was pretty entertaining. I hope you get a chance to listen!

{seven}

We've also started a Fountains of Carrots Facebook group where we hope to have a bit of space to encourage conversation about the various topics we discuss on the podcast. We'd love to have you join us! We're probably going to take at least the month of July off when it comes to podcasting, mostly because Haley is going to be driving around the country, so we hope the group will be a place where we can stay in touch! 

Hope you all have a wonderful weekend! My husband's taking has the next five days off so I'm hoping for a productive/recharging break of sorts, but we'll see about that! 

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When Easter Feels Harder Than Lent

There is so much talk about Lent. Offering things up, focusing on penance and fasting bringing us closer to God, embracing the difficult alongside Christ's suffering on the cross. And all that talk of Lent is good! As a mom of young kids it's great and hopeful to hear that my small insignificant discomforts, sacrifices, or difficulties are redeemed when offered alongside Jesus. It gives all the miserable and difficult things in daily life with small people a dignity and light that I usually ignore altogether. But what about Easter? It's not just a one day event, it's given 50 days of celebration and observance by the Church each and every year because it is the thing that matters. But what happens when our days don't look like Easter?

I didn't give up anything extreme or take up a rigorous spiritual discipline this Lent. I talked it over with my spiritual director and concluded that I was barely getting through the daily grind of 5 small people in my care, the need to take on more to embrace suffering seemed superfluous at best, and unfair to everyone else at worst. I was supposed to focus more one the little everyday things: like looking to stop snapping at the fiftieth request for water during a 15 minute period, or gracefully living through the meal-time tantrums, or having patience when no one could find their shoes or zip up jackets when we were supposed to be out the door ten minutes ago. As moms we don't have to go to look for sackcloth and ashes because there's always a rogue virus or another ear infection to require constant, unrelenting attention and compassion and unknown hours of lost sleep and the incurring exhaustion. There's not a lot more self-mortifying than dealing with diaper disasters, or the umpteenth bathroom "accident" in your normal day. Lent happens all the time around us in our own homes, provided by our own offspring.

But what happens after Easter Sunday? We're supposed to embrace our new life, rejoice in Christ's triumph over sin, see renewal in our souls and our lives. And yet...our days look identical to Lent. We still deal with, day in and day out, the same small annoyances, the same challenges to embrace love when it's difficult, the same bathroom messes.

I'm trying to find Easter renewal as a mom. But the weariness of the constant life as mom has no room for renewal. There are no "days off" or even time off the mounting laundry or the three meals a day that are always needed. Renewal and new life seem to mean something drastic and changing, or at least some kind of visible change from the days of fasting and penance, don't they? Tell that to the mom who still has sick kids, still wakes up three times a night to nurse her baby, still gets up everyday to face the whining and tantrums.

I believe in Easter. I believe in the miraculous and astounding fact of the Resurrection. I know that this Resurrection and promise of new life completely transforms. I know the miracle of new life as I've held my newborn baby and felt my breath taken away. New life is staggering and marvellous. It changes things.

But that's why Easter is so hard when our outward situation, our outward circumstances have no reflection of our spiritual reality of our liturgical year. We've got to admit it's not even just us moms who have it rough, it's the human condition. It's so much easier for us to see the difficult and sufferings rather than the joys and triumphs.

But we're an Easter people, we all have to figure out how to live the joy of the Resurrection. I don't know how to do that right now to be honest. I'm not sure how I change what I've been seeing for all of Lent (and all my life) as annoyances, frustrations, and sufferings to things that should be taken with joy. I'm not saying that an attitude will change how hard and downright crumby all those things can be. But I do want to find renewal, somehow even in the midst of all this...mothering that never ceases. It might take me more years, my whole mothering career, my whole life. This is one of the reasons why the Church celebrates Easter every single year for 50 days. It takes practice for all of us.

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On Falling on My Face as a Mom in Lent

Oh, Lent.

It's always shockingly surprising when we go into Lent at how quickly we can be shown that we really do have a lot to figure out, and be humbled about, and how badly sin has warped our every facet of mind and heart.

It's been just a week and I think I've already had hearty wake up call.

Yesterday was one of those days. With a girl confined to the couch with a bad cough, cold and grey weather, and toddlers climbing the walls it felt like a long day. It felt a million times longer when my husband called to say he'd be home late, and late as in hours past the kids would have to be in bed. The last two waking hours of the kids' day was full of tantrums, fights, refusals, protests, talking back, yelling and screaming. Enduring a meal with them alone at 6 pm felt like another level of torture, and I should have just made them jam and toast instead of a meal that was fought over with actual vegetables. I fell on my face because I tripped on one of the many toys strewn dangerously on every square foot of the floor. I was frustrated and fuming by the time everyone was tucked into dark rooms.

Of course, afterwards I stewed in my failure. More frustration, more failure. And of course I could mention all the blah, blah, blah about grace and motherhood and starting again. Because we all know it. But at that moment of stewing and bubbling in your actual failure and actual frustration you would really rather punch something than hear another rambling and emotive sermon. Or at least I would.

The problem in my head is that it felt like failure and it really was failure. But I feel at this stage of the game, almost 8 years into parenthood, I should have a little less face to face with this abject suck-age. I want to be tangibly better at this. I want more success. I want less crash and burns. I want my motherly love to wrap up neatly into a square box that can be distributed daily at fixed times and accepted in a polite manner. I want my parenting prowess to shoot straight up in a nice line. I don't want fluctuations. I want some order and progress. I want accomplishment.

Parenting, and more especially at-home motherhood, has no visible production checklists for the day. We can't wake up and get the kids fed and clothed and be successful. There are way too many intangibles that make up motherhood. There are so many emotions, personalities, unknowns in just one day to make what we do equal success and accomplishment impossible. It's all complicated and mixed up and nothing at all fitting neatly in a box. That's why in part, it is so hard to go from having a job that everyday you accomplish things and are recognized for and see what you create, to being at home in a jungle of invisible heights to climb and unseen castles to build. Sure, in the long term, and even shorter span of years we see our efforts in the growth of our children, but in the day to day when faced so often with our own inadequacies that growth and accomplishment is just not there.

But that is all a problem of my own. I'm the one who searches for progress, accomplishment, production. I'm the one who wants efficiency in the loving of my own children. I want to love in a small, tight, cramped box when really, motherly love is a wild, unfettered, sunshine that should spread and light up everything in it's path with nothing left untouched. Which is only accomplished with crushing my own pride and practicing generosity. In other words dying to self in order to really love.

I realize that so often my parenting failures are the result of my stinginess. My refusal to accept the reality of the chaos and unorganized, and instead love the whole of it. My pride wants to put my children, my day, my house, my mothering in a tight, small box. When love is the light that wants to flood everything, even in my messy house full of children who just want to yell. This Lent I want to fast and pray to submit my pride in order for true generosity and love to grow.

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What Should I Give Up For Lent? - A Conversation Between My Mind and My Conscience

Lying in bed last night I went through this tried and true mental discernment on what to give up for lent. It was so comical because I swear I think the same things every year. This year I'm going to make progress in self-displince somehow, but that how is still a big question. But I had to laugh at myself because, this, this is what goes on in my head: 


MY MIND: So Lent is coming up, what do you think I should give up, Heart? What are my biggest, most gripping struggles that need a good kick to the curb? What discipline would really realign my spiritual life? What small sacrifice could I give up for Lent? What would St. Catherine of Siena do?

MY CONSCIENCE: Well, where should we start? You want me to run through the regular list of usual suspects? We could always start with chocolate, that's what most people find to be a good sacrifice. How bout giving up chocolate?

MY MIND: Chocolate!?! Unless we're hiring a nanny for the hours between 3 pm and 6 pm then I'm going to not give up chocolate for the sake of my children.

MY CONSCIENCE: Ok, then. Most people are also willing give up alcohol as a fitting sacrifice for Lent, that would probably make us all kinds of holy.

MY MIND: I still can't give up alcohol. I'm still getting over having to give it up for some 45 months of pregnancy. I just did the mental math and that should give me 30 years worth of Lents. So there.

MY CONSCIENCE: Fine, fine, fine. Let's look at other things that may be bringing us down. What about your social media time? We spend a lot of time on Facebook getting made at stupid people, this is probably something we could cut down on.

MY MIND: Gosh, yes. If I eliminated Facebook I'd automatically cut out 50% of my cursing. But I'm home alone with small children aaalll daaaay. Come ooonnn. {long pause} Fine, I'll think about addressing social media on my phone, but I can't go whole hog, I can't do it I tell you!

MY CONSCIENCE: We could also take this opportunity to address exercise. You know how we did better working out to that Rosary workout? It seems we need a little spiritual motivation to make the exercise thing happen? What about some form of exercise for 40 days, every day? It would be a sacrifice because we're lazy, but if we prayed while doing it that would be even better! It'd be building two habits and disciplines at once!

MY MIND: Exercise. Everyday. Yes....maybe...but exercise....everyday. It's so awful sounding that sounds like a very effective sacrifice. Good option, Heart.

MY CONSCIENCE: Of course, there's always television. We could stop watching television?

MY MIND: What?! Don't you remember Better Call Saul just started? And I just started watching Friday Night Lights on Netflix?? Plus, I feel like I've actually gotten better with tv the last couple years, we're just watching a little before bed most nights...it's not that much time and we veg out together...it's good for our marriage, really.

MY CONSCIENCE: You're doing a lot of rationalizing, Head.

MY MIND: Uh, that's what I do.

MY CONSCIENCE: There's also good things to start doing like not yelling at the kids, keeping the kitchen clean, or stop all non-essential spending. Or sackcloth, ashes, giving up eating food. But I'm not sure if that's really what the Holy Spirit is telling me, maybe I'm overreacting, maybe I don't know what I'm feeling? What time is it?

MY MIND: I don't know man, it's like, past 11... I really should be sleeping I'm so exhausted...wait what time is that doctors appointment tomorrow...did I put that laundry in the dryer...ok good talk, Heart, let's figure this out later....zzzzz....

MY CONSCIENCE: Phew, I'm tired too. Lord, let us have a good Lent. Amen, goodnight.

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The Ardent Charity of The Blessed Virgin Mary - The Ten Virtues of Mary Series

Mary's virtue of ardent charity, or love, has been described as the most important and overarching of all Our Blessed Mother's virtues. So no pressure writing about it today, oh no.

Ardent charity describes not Mary's generosity towards her favourite non-profit organizations around the Nazareth area, but how her love was solely focused on God in her every action, every decision, every act of her will and mind. We aren't used to thinking in the theological terms of charity equalling supernatural love, but that is exactly what charity is; the theological virtue that gives us the grace to love God for His own intrinsic goodness and love our neighbour out of love for God. Mary was so infused with the grace of this virtue that everything she did was an act of love for God.

I'm just going to let that idea sit with you a minute. Every choice Mary made, every action she accomplished in her life both big and small, every thought and act of her will was done for love of God. Can you imagine all of your actions done for love of Christ? Directed towards that love? Chosen with that love in mind? That is a powerful, marvellous thought that summons up depths in our hearts and spirituality that I don't think we ourselves believe our own puny souls capable. Or at least I don't. I picture that singular, powerful, burning love of Mary as the pinnacle of holiness. Everything that Mary's life was done out of this love, and that is what makes her the perfect example for all humanity. But how can I emulate such an otherworldly love? How to I grow in this virtue?

I know I want to grow in this virtue of ardent charity. I think if we boil down most of our spiritual struggles we'll find at the bottom the desire of our hearts to do the Lord's will in our lives, and to do His will with love and out of love. I know that my motives to love God often come from places of wanting to earn love, to meet expectations, to show God that I'm worthy of His love. These are all motives focused on myself, and done from a place where only my ego resides. I am not loving God for His own sake, because of His boundless goodness, or His limitless love.

But Mary choose to do every action from sweeping her floor, cleaning up after a toddling Christ-child, or walking up the hill of Calvary out of love for God. She held this love as the most important part of her life, she operated purely out of this love with zero self-importance or ego invading this powerful expression in her life. She made God's love known to the whole world and the entire course of history because of this ardent love. Mary's life was the perfect human cooperation with God and she is our perfect guide for living a life of virtue because of it.

Mary's life of perfected virtue is because of her relationship with the Trinity. She loved God who also was her Son, but what gave her the grace to love God so entirely was the indwelling of the Holy Spirit. This is the part we tend to forget, we forget that her relationship with God was not just with the physical human person she saw everyday, her own son, but how it also was a relationship with the Holy Spirit unseen within her soul.

We too experience life with the Holy Spirit through the sacraments, but how often do we try to cultivate this important relationship? I know I waste a myriad of opportunities to pray to the Holy Spirit. There are times where I feel defeated by my own small sins and could pray for the Holy Spirit for help but never do. Or what about teaching our children about God and the faith but so often come up short with the right words? I know the Holy Spirit is the fount of wisdom, but I hardly ever remember to ask for help when making a difficult decision or in asking how to deal with others with love instead of indifference.

In Mary's virtue of ardent charity I see the true beauty and power of love. It is a love the saturates the heart, mind, soul, and strength of a person. A love that transforms a young girl into the most important woman in history. But even more mysterious is the fact that the virtue of charity is given to all of us through the sacraments and living a life of grace. By treasuring the grace given to us, by appreciating it, by praying to the Holy Spirit we can grow in the same supernatural love which Mary exhibited. That's a marvel that Mary knows transforms lives and brings love to the world.

It's been a privilege being a part of this wonderful series. I have learned so much about Mary's virtues through this series of posts, please check them all out in case you've missed any - you'll really feel a boost to your spiritual life by reading these beautiful and practical approaches to learning from Our Blessed Mother. And thanks so much to Olivia for coming up with this great idea for a series, make sure to visit To the Heights tomorrow for a wonderful wrap-up giveaway!

This post is part of a series on the Ten Virtues of Mary, hosted by To the Heights and running every Tuesday until the middle of December. So if you need some help in the virtue department, here's a great place to start ;)

October 7 - An Introduction to the Ten Virtues of Mary - Olivia of To the Heights

October 14 - Lively Faith - Molly of Molly Makes Do

October 21 - Blind Obedience - Kendra of Catholic All Year

October 28 - Constant Mental Prayer - Jenna of Call Her Happy

November 4 - Heroic Patience - Kelly of This Ain't the Lyceum

November 11 - Profound Humility - Carolyn of Svellerella

November 18 - Angelic Sweetness - Regina of Good One God

November 25 - Divine Wisdom - Britt of The Fisk Files

December 2 - Universal Mortification - Abbey of Surviving Our Blessings

December 9 - Divine Purity - Gina of Someday Saints

December 16 - Ardent Charity - Christy of Fountains of Home

December 17 - Massive GIVEAWAY at To the Heights - Just in time for Christmas

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Sex is Complex: Or, Why I Never Write About NFP

I keep having a nagging thought in the back of my mind that I should write more about NFP. More about what it means to an individual, marriage, and family because it effects everyone while at the same time the very inner parts of yourself as an individual. I wish I could write more about the science, because over the past 8 years I've learnt more about the science behind NFP than I ever thought or wanted to, and because the science does matter in the efficacy of methods. I wish I could write about how NFP is great and good but also a cross that impacts every aspect of your life. But I don't because I feel insufficient, somewhat jaded, too deeply mired within the daily complexities of obedience and sacrifice with too little perspective and wisdom.

But I know in not writing about it we make our shared experiences a little less shared and understood. Which is unfortunate because what we need is more understanding and at the very least a little knowledge that we're not the only ones.

And of course, when we really get down to it, when we talk about NFP we're mostly talking about sex. We're talking about how we live our sexuality within our marriage.

I'm just reminded of this lately by reading some really great things about sex, marriage, and in turn NFP going around lately. Hallie Lord recently published an ebook about great married sex and wrote a great article about it here, Simcha Fisher keeps being a sane and wise writer about what sex means and recently wrote about it with great clarity, then Calah Alexander wrote an impassioned article about getting a little support when you're living the Church's teachings about sex. If you notice a pattern through each of these articles it's that it is impossible to break sex from it's consequence -- whether they be great sex, lots of children, how you view the value of another person, how our society treats each other and our offspring; these are all things we deal within a certain context and relationship with sex.

Those of us who believe in the truth about sex proclaimed by the Church believe that it is a beautiful truth that is at a truly unique revelation of God's love for humanity and allows us to participate in his love and creation. It's a truth that never changes, but our lives do and how we integrate our sexuality throughout our lives runs into a lot of hurdles. Even when we truly believe the Church's teaching there is no easy button that makes it is to be obedient to them. We come up against our own weaknesses at almost every turn. Self sacrifice to practice natural family planning, acceptance through difficult times of too-fruitful fertility or heartbreaking infertility, faithfulness in times of marital strife, compassion in times of sickness. Let alone the host of personal issues, relational issues, even issues of how we see and related to God come up when we are dealing with our sexuality in a healthy way. This is because sexuality is part of what makes us human, and just as every part of humanity is called to redemption and grace so too is our sexuality. There is no way around the cross when it comes to our lives, it's how open we are to carrying the cross.

I think what happens all too often though, is an almost "prosperity gospel" idea applied to our sexuality. We seem to think that once we commit to what the Faith teaches and make it to marriage sex will be a consequence free, mind-blowing-each-time party for the rest of our lives. We think it's a biblical promise or something; which probably speaks to our cultural upbringing of entitlement or our fixation on all things sex. We've lost the idea that sex is complex, even in marriage. Since we've lost the concept of marriage as a permanent state, we don't realize the times where sex may not be possible due to sickness, circumstance, marital strife. Or, we often think that marriage guarantees us the magic number of children we want when we want them. We may reject the idea of contraception in pill or condom form, but the toxic ideas of how we should be able to control our lives to live for comfort are deeply ingrained and much harder to rid from our hearts and minds.

For most of us it will take a lifetime of practice to bring our sexuality to a place of integrated holiness. No matter our circumstances, we will always be called closer to God through our sexuality. It's equally important to know that God's truth brings joy, grace, a deep connection with Him along with our spouse, and great sex -- but don't expect that's all God wants to show is in our sexuality. Many of us are living out the truth in varying degrees of difficulty, sacrifice and joy: maybe through living the single life or life with same-sex attraction chastely, maybe through a religious vocation of chastity, maybe through marriage and heroic demands of NFP.  I think this is why I so often back away from writing about NFP and my imperfect experiences; because I mistakenly believe that everyone else is already holy. The truth, however, is there is no getting around the fact that God calls us to deeper holiness through our sexuality, which sooner or later always means the cross.








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Seven Quick Takes vol. 93

Joining the lovely Kathryn again for this week's randoms!

{one}

Waterlogue-ed my Instagram, posting it on my blog. I can't believe I am that person.

As June flies by I'm trying to savour every bit of summer I can. It doesn't feel hot around here yet, but since everything is green and blooming I'll enjoy it every bit I can! 

The lilacs have just started blooming here in the last week, which is ridiculously late even for us, but they're one of my favourite flowers so I've been bringing in bouquets every few days.

When you think of lilacs, don't they seem almost magical in a whole giant bushes covered in a bright, fragrant flowers? Maybe this is just a weird testament to the fact I've only lived in cold climates. Whenever I've visited warm climates I walk around dumbstruck that flowers can exist all year long, or bloom and live...ON TREES! #canadianproblems

{two}

I feel on the precipice of summer; any second now we'll start to do one thing that will lead to another that will lead to July being gone completely. Not that that's a bad thing of course. But I feel it coming. Know what I mean? 

{three}

Lest you think I'm writing this while drinking my morning wine, I will in fact acknowledge that I feel I've been quite fluffy here on the blog as of late. Not that I'm ever super deep, or philosophical, but I have felt that I've been a couple buckets short of any inspiration at all for "content" filled posts. Not that I don't have opinions on ev.er.y.thing. Because, God help me I do, but I just feel somewhat writer's block-like. Not that I think of myself as I writer either. Whatever the reason there it is, although I do think my fluff-ish posts are ok, because I honestly have the goal of never posting something that isn't worth your time because I really appreciate it. 

There. Blogger angst ended.

{four}

I'm not sure if this has anything to do with my writer's blockatosis but I've lately just started to realize that I'm beginning to come out of survival mode. It's been a weird realization because I've also come to realize that I've been operating in survival mode on every level for the past 7 years. It's been a constant atmosphere of survival in myself, our home, and our marriage in a lot of senses. Not many of which are bad however! But we've always been operating on the "We'll just make it through this pregnancy," "Just make it through birth and newborn stage," "Just make it through the first year of baby," "Deal with another surprise pregnancy crisis," repeat, repeat, repeat. And you know what, even though it's been a time of survival it's been really great, we've grown along with our children, really depended on God and grown in our faith. So just because all of it is hard, it's also in no way made my life terrible or unhappy. For the record.

{five}

But the survival mode mentality has definitely extended into my spiritual life in a lot of ways I didn't realize before. It's been a lot of dependence on God, which is really important of course, and I'm sure it was part of God's plan that I learned to approach him and depend upon him so drastically. I'm a very "Get it done, I don't need anyone's help" kinda person, so there was going to come a time (and will come many more times in my life, I'm sure) where I needed to be made to depend on God. But now I'm realizing that is the only way I've approached God in the last years. Now I'm left floundering so to speak in my prayer life, trying to find new anchors. It's hard to believe that God wants me to flourish instead of just get by. I seem to want to believe that I need to always be in crisis in order to be experiencing real faith. Or something. It's a bunch of confusing stuff in a lot of ways. 

{six}

In amongst these spiritual things, and prayer struggles, I'm also feeling like there needs to be a lot more introspection on my part. I want to know myself better. In part because I'm a mom and all of the infinite ramifications I have on my children, in part because I'm almost 30 and want to be living my life the best I can, and in part because even though I have so little free time I want to be using it for the best possible reasons. So I've been thinking about my gifts, my tendencies to sin, trying to discover my patron saint, that kinda thing. All of which I'm confident will take a long, long time to figure out. 

{seven}

That seems to be where I'm at a lot of the time lately. Which doesn't leave enough room for exciting blog content. All those topics seem really unsexy to blog. Or maybe I need to stew on them for much longer in order to make heads or tails of any of it. Or I could blog it and loose all my readers! Who knows really, I always seem to just be flying by the seat of my pants around here like most other parts of my life, so it's really a miracle you're reading this at all!

Hope everyone has a great weekend! I think I need to wash some windows, drink some margaritas, and bake some cake! 

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Great Books for Lent and a What I Wore Sunday

It's that time of year again, when Lent rolls around and we have the inclination or urge, or prompting of the Holy Spirit to read something to challenge us spiritually for Lent.

Obviously it's a good practice, St. Benedict was probably never wrong when it came to this type of thing, and I love reading so I really enjoy the practice of picking some type of spiritual book especially for Lent. But I know it can feel a bit intimidating as well, because there's just so much and we don't want to fail or be bored to death or not understand some heavy piece of spiritual writing. We want to feel recharged, or revitalized, or reencounter our prayer life and relationship with God in a new way.

I've come up with some books that I've read myself and which I thought were the most beneficial in one way or another. I'm giving a short description because I think the Holy Spirit will try and grab us if something jumps out at us, and if it something does jump out at you just go for it, what can you lose?!

The Practice of the Presence of God - This is a great foundational book to the life of prayer that I can't say enough about. It is so simple, beautiful, and short but completely revolutionizes the way you see God and prayer.









 Abandonment to Divine Providence - Another wonderful foundational book that I found really helpful in regards to our view of God's will in our lives and how to live as closely to it as possible as well as living in the moment. The writing is a little more difficult, but it is well worth the read because there are treasures on every page. This was also a very influential work to St. Therese of Lisieux.






Story of a Soul: The Autobiography of St. Therese of Lisieux, Third Edition - Again a great read for anyone! St. Therese's philosophy and spirituality really is a game changer for anyone at any stage of their spiritual journey. I have to admit I went into reading this initially a little skeptical, and thought St. Therese would only apply to the very, very seriously spiritual. But not so - a simply amazing book.





Season of Mercy: Lent and Easter - A book of writings by Catherine Doherty on the meaning of Lent leading into the Easter season. Catherine had a very unique yet mystical view of the liturgical seasons and any reading of her writings will add so much to your understanding of Lent in the broader context of the worldwide Church, while at the same time challenging your own heart in many ways. This is also a good introduction to different themes that Catherine wrote much one. Very short, easy to read meditations for a weekly basis if I remember correctly.




  

Pope Emeritus Benedict wrote so much that there is a huge wealth of his knowledge to read, probably enough to last any of us a lifetime. I've read Journey to Easter: Spiritual Reflections for the Lenten Season, which contained great shorter meditations on Lent specifically. His trilogy on the life of Christ is so insightful and really worth a deep study or 40 days of dedication, more pertinent to Lent is the second book, Jesus of Nazareth: Holy Week: From the Entrance Into Jerusalem To The Resurrection. I'm hoping to get to his writing on female saints Holy Women, a collection of various homilies, talks, and reflections, this Lent.








If you're looking for a more contemporary, yet still very insightful book about prayer, the struggles of faith and friendship I'd highly recommend Love & Salt: A Spiritual Friendship Shared in Letters. It's an amazingly well written book of letters between two friends, one in the process of conversion and the other deepening her Catholic faith. Very Lent-fitting!








This year I'm also reading Lent and Easter Wisdom from G.K. Chesterton because I clearly can't get enough Chesterton. But really, I thought this would be a little lighter and it is a daily devotional which shouldn't take too much out of me, but will hopefully get accomplished everyday. This book comes from a series about Lent and Easter with compilations by tons of amazing saints and spiritual writers, if you've got another favourite you'd like to journey with through Lent this might be a series to look into.

And now for a bonus outfit! 

The temperature when we got to Mass last night was -25 C. On March 1. All ye abandon hope for every wearing a skirt again! Since our old, old church also has an indoor temperature in the single digits it was a chilly Mass. But this is what I mustered!

Can we talk about the half-tucked-in-shirt look for a second? Because I tired it with this outfit and it was a miserable fail. For the record.

I'm also working on not looking so short in photos, but impossible!

Happy Sunday, and visit the rest of the best dressed at FLAP.

And look at that...7 Posts in 7 Days! Major Accomplishment! 

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