Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Random ravings of a 7 month pregnant lady...

Well, I'm more than 7 months pregnant now and I'm starting to hit the wall.

Does anyone else have a pregnancy wall?? That point where you can't ignore your size, hormones, or the idea that you'll have to give birth in a matter of weeks no matter how hard you try? 

My wall includes tons of anxiety over childbirth. I thought the more you went through it the easier childbirth would become. But I think I feel even more trepidation about it than even my first time. It becomes such a hurdle that I have a hard time picturing my actual baby because I'm so hung up on the actual labor, pain, delivery part. However, I know that this mentality does change once you enter your eighth month of pregnancy, by that point the desire to not be pregnant anymore and to be something close to comfortable has become so strong that childbirth just seems like a speed bump. 

The pregnancy wall also includes the heightened sense of your rational mind and hormones blurring into one. Am I really that upset I forgot to buy chocolate at the grocery store or are my hormones looking for a convenient escape route? I'm freaking out at small things, and even my toddlers think I'm overreacting at the slightest thing. 

I think this all boils down to driving myself crazy! I'm sure this can be a measured scientific effect. My own craziness makes me crazy. Its a vicious circle. And I'm not quite sure when I'll come out of it...I'm guessing around 6-9 months after this little bundle decides to pop out and sleep more than half an hour at a time? Until then I'll keep grasping for some semblance of normalcy!

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