Ever have a bad day and immediately begin to rethink all your major life decisions?
Why does that always happen?
I feel like I've had a couple bad weeks with this sickness going through our house and all that entails. The lack of sleep, the cancelling of plans, the never leaving the house, and the backload of laundry and cleaning it all produces.
I'm starting to regret that we didn't plan any kind of vacation this summer. Of course, its mainly because Nora's so small and any hope of sleeping together as a family in a hotel-like situation would never happen. Max is also at the oh-so-fun stage of hating to ride in the car for more than twenty minutes. Couple that with his apparent inability to go out in public and not scream at the top of his lungs every 3 minutes and we're not the best tourists.
Since both our families live close to us we have no real reason to travel. And, more importantly, it makes for much fewer willing participants open to take in a family with 5 kids under 7 for a fun sleepover. It just feels like logistics, like gravity, are simply working against us.
I don't want to this to become a huge moan-fest over what a drag a lot of kids can be, but it feels really tough right now just getting out of the house let alone going anywhere on a trip! I feel like I must be doing this wrong. Am I not adventurous enough? Am I just lazy? How does everyone else go on such happy trips?
I mean, in theory things will be different soon. Really, I know this year is the hardest because its just really difficult to do things with three small kids, then an out of control toddler, then a small infant. Its just a wide range of time consuming, constant supervision requiring, diaper wearing, breastfeeding children!
I also know that I'm just in need of a change of scene. I'm getting a little newborn-baby-burnt-out. I know this, I've been there four times before. I also know there isn't really a quick fix for this. I want to breastfeed Nora for at least a while longer since she's doing well. But when you live 2 hours from civilization, or even a decent restaurant to go to for a dinner out with your husband, everything requires days of planning, multiple babysitters, and practically a whole day of travel! It makes me want to rethink where I live.
Maybe I do just need to go through all the hoops for one dinner out. I guess I'm just tired of everything requiring so much work and organization. I'm not too sure why I'm not used to this yet, things have required organization and work for a while now. The reality of being tied down has come to a head this week though as my grandmother passed away on the weekend, and now my inability to travel over 7 hours to get to the funeral has me irked.
Anyway! I'm trying to talk myself out of making dramatic, life-changing decisions right now as I know I'm in that awful headspace of self-pity. Even though I want to jump to making decisions because it drives me crazy when people just wallow instead of looking for solutions.
I'm fairly certain I should just calm down a little and pray a little more. And resist my urge to just watch British drama all day while letting the kids scavenge for their own cereal.
" it feels really tough right now just getting out of the house let alone going anywhere on a trip! I feel like I must be doing this wrong. Am I not adventurous enough? Am I just lazy? How does everyone else go on such happy trips?"- I feel this way, too, with 2 kids under 3. I've realized, for me at least, that it has a lot to do with my own temperament (melancholic). My friends with sanguine temperaments are always out and about and it feel like that would just take so, so much energy. It's given me a lot of peace to not feel like I have to keep up because we truly have different strengths.
ReplyDeleteSo you had me interested! I took a quiz and it says i'm phlegmatic... interesting!
DeleteAw Christy I get just like this (embarrassing to say, usually once every two weeks). Yes! Go through the trouble. A date is worth it. Worth it. Worth it.
ReplyDeleteAsk your husband to bring home fresh flowers or cut some and bring them inside and put them on a window sill. That helps me a lot.
Also rearrange furniture in a took, if you can. Always refreshes my outlook on life.
And maybe wash your hair? I love the fresh feeling (and de-frizzing for 2.8 seconds in this Louisiana humidity and heat).
Just trying to help you take a breath! :)
*took = room
DeleteLoL maybe that's like subliminal messages from myself that I need to read some JRR Tolkien?
I have three kids between the ages of 3.5 and 1. Going anywhere is a lot of work! My family lives across the country and this summer we flew to see them. It went alright overall but the travel part was stressful and then when you are there you are just trying to do all your normal day to day things with your kids in someone else's house. I know what you mean by lots of work and organization being required for even an evening out. I do think it is important to do it sometimes though even if it doesn't feel worth it. Can you get away with just your husband and baby for a day or an overnight trip? You might find that even 24 hours out of the house after all the illness etc might make a difference. It is something about this stage of life when all the kids are little.... I regularly think that some drastic change like moving closer to my family would make all the difference. But the day to day life remains and for a time the reality that it is often more effort than benefit to getting out is also often the case. Not always though.....
ReplyDeleteI hear you about organizing an evening out. Honestly the extra work just makes it not worth it to me. And traveling with toddlers/preschoolers is really, really overrated imo. Have you thought about a weekend away with just your husband and Nora? Just a hotel somewhere with a pool and maybe a casual restaurant in walking distance. Traveling with babies is so much easier.
ReplyDeleteDon't worry Christy. We only have two kids and never, ever do anything remotely fun or adventurous. You have it significantly tougher (oh gosh, I'm so tired I can't even remember if that's a real word or not) with 5 kids and I admire you so much. I'd help watch your kids (again, we don't do anything) if you and Paul need dinner out!
ReplyDeleteYou're an awesome mom and just take it one day and one glass of wine at a time.
- Amanda Gaudet
" it feels really tough right now just getting out of the house let alone going anywhere on a trip! I feel like I must be doing this wrong. Am I not adventurous enough? Am I just lazy? How does everyone else go on such happy trips?"
ReplyDeleteI remember feeling EXACTLY like this. I had my six in 9.5 years and thought wondered what the the problem was. I remember the exact moment I had the answer,really a revelation. I went on a rather spontaneous (short) hike, just me and the kids, to a place we had been before. But this time it was easy, it was simple, it was enjoyable. I thought "This is how I always thought it would be...what's the difference??" IT WAS THEIR AGES. They were simply old enough to be past all those little kid issues I don't have to begin to describe to you! This is not to be discouraging (as in, "you can't have any fun while they're young") - not at all! It's just to say that it's NOT anything you are doing wrong. Those peaceful families you see strolling by simply have OLDER kids and you will get there too, believe me. My kids are 12-22 now - and they plan the trips! Hang in there!!! XO Lisa
So sorry to hear about your grandmother.
ReplyDelete