It seems like strange ideas regarding motherhood have been floating around my facebook page this week. And not strange as in uncommon, but strange as in so far from the reality of what motherhood really is.
One woman who recently gave birth to her second child was stating that she categorically was no longer "supermom". Obviously, she's in a survival mode that you really only learn about after you have your second child and figure out how steep the learning curve is of life with more than one baby, so these realizations hit you like a truck. And its good she's realizing that fact now. Because the reality is no one is supermom, and I always wonder who really wants to be anyways?
On the other end of the spectrum was a comment made about how modern society in essence dooms the stay at home mom to drudgery. Also, not reality. Although modern society stinks in regards to the home, and family, and pretty much does everything possible to make home and family important in culture and to the individual, there always remains the choice of the mom to choose a happy, loving, peaceful home. The reality is that happiness is possible despite the big sacrifices of motherhood. The reality is that grace exists and helps us beyond our understanding. The reality is that our choices can create a fulfilling environment to be ourselves and one that greatly benefits the souls of our children.
We all know the not so fun stuff exists. The stuff we don't want to do at all. The laundry or dishes or cooking or whatever it may be that becomes our least favourite part of our day. But these tasks don't only exist at home, they exist in every job and profession. They're simply part of life. To dwell on them in the case of motherhood seems to completely ignore the plenty of wonderful things that actually do happen at home. Culture itself won't change overnight to something that supports women at home, and the importance of that home, but will it change if every woman gives up walks away from home and the daily experience of raising children? Definitely not.
Ok. End of rant. But heres three fabulous articles I've read this week that are real perspectives on the mommy-hood!
Simcha Fischer's perfect words to young mothers.
The lovely Brianna is spot on as usual.
And Kate Wicker has a great post too!
You must be reading my mind - today I was wondering about the correlation between our attitutdes toward parenthood (not just motherhood) and societies common complaints about our youngest generations. What do expect when we tell mothers and fathers (working, stay at home, whatever) that there can be no sense of happiness or self-worth by dedicating oneself to their family? Do "we" (society) really have the right to be angry about the way children are raised or not raised when all "we" seem to be doing is telling their families to go find fun, excitement and fulfillment elsewhere?
ReplyDeleteJust today I had to take a coworker aside to tell her that I thought she was amazing for the three kids she has and the fact that she and her husband want more when the rest of my co-workers were trying to convince her that she surely must be done having kids, particularly since she was crazy enough to have more than two! We had a nice moment of "confession" to each other where we talked honestly that we really loved being parents and blocked the rest out.