Tuesday, October 4, 2011
There's no such thing as a perfect pregnancy
Lately I've been ruminating on the fact that there is no such thing as a perfect pregnancy. And by lately I mean the last six months.
It has taken me six months for the fourth time to figure this out.
But just as our society has made it strange and abhorrent to be open to more than two kids, let alone want more than two kids, the opposite effect of the having the perfect time to conceive and be pregnant as the ultimate familial goal also seemed to permeate the culture, and especially among women. The ideal pregnancy comes when all of our goals have been accomplished, we have more money than we know what to do with, and are eagerly excited to plan our own baby showers and pick out nursery colors. And because the pregnancy happens at the perfectly appointed time each blissful prenatal day is spent happily dreaming and "glowing".
Maybe I'm combining some girlish naivete along with the growing contraceptive-culture ideal that puts your once -in-a-lifetime pregnancy on a very tall pedestal, but in reality no pregnancy is perfect. There will always be emotional, financial, spiritual, or just plain ol' life problems and issues we have to deal with while being pregnant.
Sometimes (read always) I wish pregnancy would happen in a bubble. A big bubble where all my feelings would be perfectly attuned, the timing would be perfect for me and my husband, that we'd have a bigger house and income, that no physical pain and/or changes would occur, etc. etc. However, if things did happen this way in reality most of the perseverance, patience, faith and other virtues God tries to bestow upon us in the process would never be needed let alone have a chance to flourish.
As a young mom I wish there was more openness in talking about and accepting the difficulties and various struggles which come along with the great generosity of being open to life, pregnancies, and babies. It's not to say that such discussions should been seen as dwelling upon the terrible, or that having these conversations at all overrides the joy of welcoming another child into the world, but only to say that challenges don't disappear, nor should they not be present just because you've become, or plan to become, pregnant!