Little Traditions, Big Rewards: Living Liturgically to Grow Faith

I can hardly believe yesterday was the last Sunday of the liturgical calendar.

Maybe it's my kids getting older and wiser, or maybe it's me getting older and....tired-er?...but each passing year seems to fly by faster. And it's equally true for observing the liturgical calendar. I could swear we just made it through Lent, celebrated a joyous Easter, lived it up with the great feast of Pentecost, and now we're here just having celebrated the Feast of Christ the King.

Just the other day I completely missed the boat on Martinmas. Completely. Like, it was November 14 and the thought of St. Martin of Tours and lanterns just began to dawn in my mind. (The feast of St. Martin of Tours is November 11...3 days before I even contemplated it.) It is hard to keep up with all the major feast days.

I would love a personal liturgical assistant (I would also love for this mythical personal liturgical assistant to be Kendra) who would prep, shop, craft, cook, and decorate for me prior to the actual feast day. I would love to wake up and have a kid's craft completely prepared for the kid's to work on without me having to even click into Pinterest. Or a gourmet ethnic meal simmering on the stove while I leisurely sip tea and eat bonbons.

But I'm living in a world where my mornings are devoted to school with my kids, the afternoons fly by with everything else that needs to get done, and by dinner time I am booking it to get some food on the dinner table. I have very, very little margin in my regular old, real, everyday life to be planning anything or decorating anything. I just still feel very maxed out. I'm out of survival mode, and living fully in maxed out mode.

But that doesn't mean that making memories with my family and instilling a love of the Church through observing the liturgical year is not a really important goal and value in my life. I am so glad that the little things I have done have cemented their way into my kid's little brains.

And let me tell you if you're currently in survival mode and/or just enjoying your baby or toddler, start now with the little traditions you want your family to love! Set up those Advent candles, celebrate your family's baptismal days with store bought cupcakes, let your little boys dress up as knights on the feast of St. George, whatever it is you like doing that is tied to the liturgical year, do it and start small.

You will be shocked at how quickly kids notice things that happen every year and start asking for them themselves. And the best thing is that little kids are so easily impressed! Take advantage of this and aim low. My kids love the special St. Patrick's books we own and love being able to find them in March. They love special nights when we just light candles while we say evening prayers for their baptism day or name day. Roasting marshmallows on the feast of Pentecost or the Nativity of St. John the Baptist is low work on your part and high excitement reward for littles!

I have been blown away with how traditions grab little hearts. We think that we should constantly be trying new things, entertaining our kids with the new and exciting, but what little hearts crave is tradition. They long for stability, to know they can expect and trust in things in their lives. The little things we do to celebrate tradition, which is really what the liturgical calendar is all about, are what build the trust in the love of God that we are really trying to give to our children. 

So we might not be able to do it all. We might not be able to celebrate all the feast days we want to, the way we want to. But I am telling you that the little things add up to big things in the eyes and hearts of our kids. So start small and start today.

And hey, maybe one day I'll be able to make lanterns for St. Martin and an Indian meal for St. Teresa of Calcutta -- I can dream!


The best news I've got for you today is Jenna's new book. If you're looking for simple and straightforward ideas for the liturgical calendar The Lazy Liturgical has got you completely covered. Jenna goes through the entire year, emphasizing the important feasts of the Church and different saint days and gives simple ideas that don't involve complicated crafts or tons of sugar. It's a great way to not stress about the liturgical year yourself, but to start traditions with your kids now. Head over to her Etsy shop to pick up your copy today!

Today Jenna is generously giving one Fountains of Home reader a hard copy of her book, just enter away, you've got till Advent! 

a Rafflecopter giveaway

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Mother Teresa and Me

I realize now that the title to this post makes you think I have a dramatic Mother Teresa story like those one you sometimes hear. But no, I didn't cross her path when I was 12 years old and decide to become a nun then and there. Nor did I eat, pray, love my way through India and happen upon her houses and made a radical conversion to the Faith. Although, both those stories would be awesome and I hope someone is writing those memoirs for me to someday read!

But I have been thinking about Mother Teresa lately because of her upcoming canonization, and I've come to the conclusion that her words have really had a profound effect on my life. Not that her words have so much as dramatically changed my life's path, but they really have helped form my view of vocation, kindness, and what attitude to have in life. Which are pretty big things when you start thinking about them.

I think I picked up her phrase "Let no one ever come to you without leaving better and happier. Be the living expression of God's kindness; kindness in your face, kindest in your eyes, kindness in your smile" early on. For some reason it really stuck with me. Maybe because I've never felt naturally empathetic or compassionate, something about this quote struck me that the little things I do can matter -- and even I can smile.

I'm the first to tell you that my every encounter with every person in my life is not blessed with Mother Teresa's compassion, but I can smile! The first step on the long road to becoming a saint with Mother Teresa's compassion may be smiling at the stranger, smiling at the person who gets on your nerves the most, smiling when you child asks you for the 600th time for raisins.

"Where God has put you, that is your vocation. It is not what we do but how much love we put into it." This kept me going through much second guessing, soul searching, wondering what would become of me in my early years, and even my early married years when I was trying to figure out just what this vocation would mean for me. These words hold a beautiful simplicity that's easy to go back to when things feel complicated and confusing. Mother Teresa's wisdom was poignant and simple, a sure testament to her holiness I think.

"Where does love begin? It begins at home. Let us learn to love in our family. In our own family we may have very poor people, and we do not notice them, We have no time to smile, no time to talk to each other,. Let us bring that love, that tenderness into our own home and you will see the difference." I think these words have shaped what I want my home to be, and have given me direction when I feel useless at mothering. My work is important. Even if I cannot be rescuing the dying off the streets of Calcutta, and I can still participate in the same calling to love as Mother Teresa. Isn't that an crazy and amazing aspect of our Faith? That even though we're not spiritual giants or devoted our entire lives to heroic feats of compassion, that we can still live the same way the saints do? That's really what faith does, what living a life of love does. I need to keep reminding myself of this often when the little things around my house feel like drudgery or even meaningless; the love of a home and of a family are so important.

I've been both inspired and refreshed by this wonderful book Works of Love Are Works of Peace. The photographs of Mother Teresa, her sisters, and their work are staggeringly beautiful. It is so revealing to see them caring for those who otherwise would never have experienced love, but also to see the human faces of those whom she helped. I think we are all blown away by the way Mother Teresa served others and lived her life and that's why her words carry so much importance and meaning. The chosen quotes and prayers of Mother Teresa go along perfectly with the beauty of the photographs, together it brings about a wonderful testament and experience of St. Teresa of Calcutta. This book would really make a wonderful gift for the Mother Teresa fan in your life(we all have em!) or just a personal tool in your own prayer life. I'm so looking forward to our Church celebrating St. Teresa of Calcutta as part of the Communion of Saints!


Ignatius Press gave me a review copy of this lovely book for review, but my opinions are entirely my own!

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Our First First Communion (and Confirmation)

Saturday was Gemma's big day!

It was a wonderful day full of sweetness and excitement and family and faith. It was just lovely.

I didn't cry, to Gemma's shock, but it did feel somewhat incredible that somehow this baby who I could swear I just was holding as a wee, screaming infant, could be old enough for her First Communion. I remember in those early, really rough days postpartum soon after her baptism thinking, "I can't imagine how it could be possible that one day this girl will celebrate her First Communion." That exact thought. I swear. Her baptism felt like a staggering responsibility at the time, and the thought of actually getting my own child ready to receive Christ seemed like such a tough job that I was very unworthy of.

But Gemma was so excited and joyful and a bit nervous, and I hope I remember how much I loved seeing all her emotions because this girl has a lot of them! She was so happy and proud and proclaimed it "the best day ever!"

She was surrounded by family that love her to bits and even her little brothers leaned over to kiss her during Mass. Actually, there must have been excess grace flying around because the boys didn't even fight during Mass, not even a little. Which is saying something!

She was a bit intimidated by a bishop being there, but turned around after being confirmed with a big smile. A few more nerves at Communion, but she could hardly contain her excitement!

I'm gushing and beaming over how happy and proud of my little girl I am. She's really growing up, they're all really growing up, but it's taking a while for that idea to sink in for me I think. I'll try and let it all sink in for awhile I think.

It was really just a lovely, blessed day.

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Why Do I Remain Catholic Anyway?

This question of "Why Do I Remain Catholic" has been circling the internet and with good reason, the recent less-than-stellar Pew Research in regards to faith in general, and Catholicism in particular, is disheartening.

But the question leads to some good self-questioning that I haven't thought about in a long time. Because you see, I'm a cradle Catholic who has never really "fallen away" from the Church to a major degree. Now, I would not say that somehow it's because I'm naturally proficient at holiness, or lack intelligent questioning skepticism, or have experienced only sunshine and rainbows by practicing my Faith because none of those things are true.

I have no idea if I would be Catholic now if I was not married to my wonderful Catholic husband, or if I didn't have a supportive Catholic family, or if I did not receive an excellent Catholic education, and know many vibrant and interesting Catholic friends.

I do know that there are many times of temptation or cynicism where I fully admit that my life would be easier if I wasn't Catholic. Easier, more convenient, more comfortable, less personally and spiritually challenging in many ways - from dealing with certain crosses in my personal life like NFP, or just having more friends and likes on Facebook. It would be a lot easier to not have a personal commitment to practicing and believing the Catholic faith and that's what those Pew numbers speak to.

I'm not saying anything original when I say that I remain Catholic mostly because it's the Truth. The Catholic faith isn't just true when it comes to saying God exists, it's true when it speaks to every part of the human experience. Sure, it may not get talked about often at the usual Sunday Mass, most Catholics have never been instructed to understand the philosophical depths of the faith and how it's built solidly upon reason and logical thinking, or that the Church has been historically right for over two centuries.

But the deep, enveloping truth of the whole of Catholic teaching has seeped into every area of my life and I shudder to think what my life would be without it. I don't think I would feel and understand my value as an individual who is inherently loved. I don't think I would understand my purpose in life, from the core of my being amid all the distractions surrounding my everyday life or the confusion in our society. I don't know if I would be able to forgive people, or to know the vast importance of truly loving someone. I've remained in the Church because it has given me so much. Forgiveness, grace, mercy, love, redemption are all given to me through a Church that remains true to me and the world through my short life and human history.

I keep coming back to the solidity of the Church. And maybe it's just me and my crazy personality that can't help but feel it's this very solidity that helps my little bit of faith grow. Because as Chesterton said, "We do not really want a religion to be right where we are right. We want a religion that is right where we are wrong." As I get older and realize better my huge capability of error, as I watch the hubris of pundits and icons grow without bounds, it's easy to see that I can screw things up easily. That every other human being can screw things up easily. Even if it's something we think should be right because of this and this, if we consult the Church and learn what may be behind the teachings we see a wealth of knowledge that one individual or even a current society could get painfully wrong.

But it's the solidity of the truth that asks something of us. When we assent to faith we are required to believe a set of beliefs and sometimes we may not fully understand them. It's uncomfortable in today's society to even confess that you believe in objective truth, let alone the myriad controversial teachings of the Church.

It's easier to say that everyone should do what they feel life to the furthest possible degree, with no hindrance from society.

It's easier to say I can shop for a church that speaks to me personally, that doesn't require me to change my behaviour.

It's easier to believe that the sacraments and the liturgy are just cozy symbols that make us feel good but don't require anything of us.

We live in a culture that doesn't need faith at all because we can choose the easier path of more comfort.

I remain in the faith even though it's cost me very little in comparison to so many around the world. I am not in danger of losing my life, but maybe of losing respect. What I am given is a wealth of love, grace, and knowledge through the Church. And most importantly the Church gives me Christ, who really is part of my life, who really does fill my life with joy, wonder, and love, and who really does give peace in my woundedness and sin, in times of suffering and pain.

I hope and pray for the grace that my conscience and conviction never leave me and so never leave the Church.

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The Mystical and the Practical in Sigrid Undset's St. Catherine of Siena

Sometimes saints are so strange and wonderful that we can’t wrap our minds around them. This is a marvelous expression of God’s unique creating power as well as His ability to love each of us in individual, and personal ways that may never be understandable to anyone else. If not for these strange saints we would expect that God could only love us in a few ways, and consequently that our lives could only be lived in a few ways. With a saint such as Catherine of Siena there is an intriguing mix of strange and yet very ordinary and it all comes to life in Sigrid Undset's remarkable biography.

Sigrid Undset is the author of the Nobel prize-winning trilogy Kristin Lavransdatter, another work that focuses on a strong woman living in medieval times with skillful insight. I recently delved into Undset’s biography without many expectations of how Undset would approach this saint who at once was a remarkable mystic who experienced many visions of Christ, as well as a saint who was firmly entrenched in the daily political affairs of the Church at the time. What Undset brings in her biography is a seamless view of how the mystical and ordinary are more intertwined than we would presume.

St. Catherine’s staggering holiness was evidenced at a very young age. In her early teens she committed herself wholly to virginity and became a Third Order Dominican. Her mystical experiences also began at a young age and so Catherine desired to give all her time and energy to prayer and solitude so that she could experience these amazing visions and encounters with Christ as often as possible.

But these mystical experiences happened to her while she was dealing with very normal aspects of life; especially family life. Because she was a beautiful girl of a moderately wealthy cloth dyer the family expected her to make a prosperous marriage that would increase the family’s political and social clout in the city of Siena. Catherine however, stood strong against this wish of her family even to the point of her brothers and mother becoming furious with her determination to remain a virgin for God. Her mother would demand her to clean and cook for the entire household just to keep her from what she thought was too much time spent alone praying. Throughout Catherine’s life, even as she became somewhat famous for her holiness and developed a following of priests and other men and women, her mother continued to badger her with her own worries and desire to continually be with Catherine.

This reminded me of how often we encounter struggle within our own families to live our faith or vocations, and how we feel that our family life is burdensome and somehow keeping us from God and our earthly mission. St. Catherine never whined about her family, and as Undset is careful to document she did have to sometimes write pointed letters to her mother emphasizing her own duties and what God was calling her to do. Catherine seems so very practical and full of common sense when dealing with her overbearing mother, but she always did so with great love and respectful obedience to her.

The other aspect that surprised me between the mystical and the earthly in St. Catherine’s life was the popes Catherine advised and how they themselves were far from what we would consider saintly. Undset has a great gift for describing medieval life clearly for the modern reader which is so helpful since there are many layers of secular and Church politics that kept the papacy out of Rome at that time. Pope Gregory XI was securely installed in Avignon, his life was extravagant and luxurious, and he himself was used to bending to the political whims of both the Church and the French to remain in Avignon. Along came St. Catherine, an uneducated young woman who claimed to be a mystic, and after her many pleading letters and finally meeting with her in person he summoned what little courage he had and returned to Rome. But his successor who would become the true pope in a time of the Western Schism, Urban VI, was not at all likable, had no diplomatic skills, and was keen to use armies against his enemies within the Church. But even though this man may have been unliked, Catherine remained his staunch defender because of Christ’s instructions to him and for his possession of the chair of Peter.

While reading this episode in Catherine’s life I was struck with how straightforward Undset describes this time. Catherine was at once experiencing deeply intense and intimate encounters and visions of Christ, yet she was dealing with what amounted to very difficult and undeserving people on earth. Just because she was a mystic did not mean she avoided the difficult people of which life seems to be full. Just because she was literally hearing Christ call her his bride did not mean she didn’t have critics and detractors. Even though she was giving direct messages from Christ to the Pope, the Pope did not hold her in high esteem or even take her messages very seriously.

I don’t think this fact surprised Undset as she describes beautifully how Catherine never took her focus off of Christ and His mission for her. But it surprised me. In the back of my mind there is always this false suspicion that somehow saints don’t face the everyday, ordinary, and seemingly banal disagreeable aspects of life. I always assume that their holiness makes them impervious to annoyances, difficult people, and simple hardships. But as Sigrid Undset skillfully depicts her life, the brilliance of St. Catherine’s mysticism is seen alongside the dull and frustrating earthly difficulties. St. Catherine lived an extraordinary life and experienced mystical experiences we moderns see as very strange and incomprehensible, but she also dealt with practical, ordinary life with love and courage and sometimes it’s seeing the ordinary alongside the strange and wonderful that boosts our faith.  

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Some Great First Communion (and Confession!)-Prep Books

This year we've been preparing our oldest child to receive her First Holy Communion and First Reconciliation. Our situation is a little different than most in that our parish has no religious education classes so the whole responsibility of making sure she's figuring things out about the Faith, and answering her questions have fallen on my shoulders, which is a little daunting when I think about it!

I've tried to get a few different resources for her so that the different aspects of what she should know for around this age gets covered a few times. When it comes to religious education I think it's valuable to have the different aspects of the faith presented in different ways because you never know what will resonate the best for another person, and especially a small child.

I'm also a big fan of religious texts for kids having actual substance. I won't link to what was provided by the diocese, but let's just say I found it really lacking and hardly talked about "faith" at all. It hardly veered from the very disappointing script of "Jesus is your friend". Our children are exceeding keen to the truth and they deserve to have the fullness given to them, I don't want my kids pandered to but given the whole experience of their rich faith.

All that being said, I'm sure I haven't done a perfect job, but I'm also sure that the Holy Spirit will make up for my lack. It's always good to remember that this isn't a one time thing, this is more getting her in the door to keep receiving knowledge of the Faith. We've got a month and a half left to go until she'll be receiving her First Reconciliation, First Holy Communion, and Confirmation so I'm hoping she'll be well prepared by then. These books have been the best help to us!

Jesus, Our Life from the Faith and Life series

We use the Faith and Life series for our religion text for school, so we've been working on this book for the whole school year. I still appreciate this series for it's clarity and simply approach while explaining the doctrine of the Church in an age appropriate way.

My First Holy Communion by Deirdre Mary Ascough 

I wasn't quite sure what to expect from this book, but I found it to be a nicely presented way of bringing together Biblical stories and doctrines of the faith while explaining the Sacraments and the Mass. The pictures are bright, but not perfect, and engage young eyes. I think this is a nice compliment to the text-book like books. My only criticism is it's clunky prose, at first I thought this may be a translation, but the book page clearly states it was written by an English speaker and nothing can be blamed on poor translators. But it doesn't effect the overall good quality of teaching this book provides, just bugs a picky mom.

Saint Joseph First Communion Catechism

I'm not going to lie. I'm using this primarily to keep my from teaching heresy! There's just something reassuring in the pat question and answer catechism that you just can't find anywhere else. I know I don't want it to be the only way my kids learn their faith, but it is helpful in clearly up important things like, "How many persons in the Holy Trinity?" This little book isn't too intimidating and knowing that the questions cover the basics helps me know that I'm covering them in depth in other places. It's a little catechetical insurance policy.

A Little Book about Confession for Children by Kendra Tierney

This book is so good at presenting the teaching and meaning of the Sacrament of Penance to children in a straightforward, understandable, and clear way. I love that it's laid out with questions and answers, that it respects children and their capability to understand their own need for forgiveness and capability for sin -- two things which are so daunting to most catechetical writers that they ignore it altogether. I know this book has given my daughter confidence when at first she seemed tentative and unsure what Confession meant. 

Your First Communion: Meeting Jesus, Your True Joy by Pope Francis

This is a devotional type book which actually makes a great compliment to the more catechetical books we've been using. Each reflection by Pope Francis has a nice, bright illustration and the reflections are straight forward and easy to understand even for children while at the same time being beautiful and substantial! I also just love that this is a book of actual papal writings presented to children! This is the type of thing that needs to be more present in catechesis from the very beginning--presenting the teachings of the popes early helps us realize that the teachings are important, approachable, and necessary for our everyday life. This book would also make a really great First Communion gift. 

Ignatius Press kindly provided me review copies of two of these books, but my opinions are entirely my own...clearly! 

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When Easter Feels Harder Than Lent

There is so much talk about Lent. Offering things up, focusing on penance and fasting bringing us closer to God, embracing the difficult alongside Christ's suffering on the cross. And all that talk of Lent is good! As a mom of young kids it's great and hopeful to hear that my small insignificant discomforts, sacrifices, or difficulties are redeemed when offered alongside Jesus. It gives all the miserable and difficult things in daily life with small people a dignity and light that I usually ignore altogether. But what about Easter? It's not just a one day event, it's given 50 days of celebration and observance by the Church each and every year because it is the thing that matters. But what happens when our days don't look like Easter?

I didn't give up anything extreme or take up a rigorous spiritual discipline this Lent. I talked it over with my spiritual director and concluded that I was barely getting through the daily grind of 5 small people in my care, the need to take on more to embrace suffering seemed superfluous at best, and unfair to everyone else at worst. I was supposed to focus more one the little everyday things: like looking to stop snapping at the fiftieth request for water during a 15 minute period, or gracefully living through the meal-time tantrums, or having patience when no one could find their shoes or zip up jackets when we were supposed to be out the door ten minutes ago. As moms we don't have to go to look for sackcloth and ashes because there's always a rogue virus or another ear infection to require constant, unrelenting attention and compassion and unknown hours of lost sleep and the incurring exhaustion. There's not a lot more self-mortifying than dealing with diaper disasters, or the umpteenth bathroom "accident" in your normal day. Lent happens all the time around us in our own homes, provided by our own offspring.

But what happens after Easter Sunday? We're supposed to embrace our new life, rejoice in Christ's triumph over sin, see renewal in our souls and our lives. And yet...our days look identical to Lent. We still deal with, day in and day out, the same small annoyances, the same challenges to embrace love when it's difficult, the same bathroom messes.

I'm trying to find Easter renewal as a mom. But the weariness of the constant life as mom has no room for renewal. There are no "days off" or even time off the mounting laundry or the three meals a day that are always needed. Renewal and new life seem to mean something drastic and changing, or at least some kind of visible change from the days of fasting and penance, don't they? Tell that to the mom who still has sick kids, still wakes up three times a night to nurse her baby, still gets up everyday to face the whining and tantrums.

I believe in Easter. I believe in the miraculous and astounding fact of the Resurrection. I know that this Resurrection and promise of new life completely transforms. I know the miracle of new life as I've held my newborn baby and felt my breath taken away. New life is staggering and marvellous. It changes things.

But that's why Easter is so hard when our outward situation, our outward circumstances have no reflection of our spiritual reality of our liturgical year. We've got to admit it's not even just us moms who have it rough, it's the human condition. It's so much easier for us to see the difficult and sufferings rather than the joys and triumphs.

But we're an Easter people, we all have to figure out how to live the joy of the Resurrection. I don't know how to do that right now to be honest. I'm not sure how I change what I've been seeing for all of Lent (and all my life) as annoyances, frustrations, and sufferings to things that should be taken with joy. I'm not saying that an attitude will change how hard and downright crumby all those things can be. But I do want to find renewal, somehow even in the midst of all this...mothering that never ceases. It might take me more years, my whole mothering career, my whole life. This is one of the reasons why the Church celebrates Easter every single year for 50 days. It takes practice for all of us.

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Popes, Planes, and Common Sense

I hesitate somewhat to join the excessive noise over Pope Francis's recent gab-fest on a plane because there is just so much noise about it. But sometimes a girl's just gotta blog.

I wish I could be surprised at people's reactions to the Pope's somewhat off-the-cuff comments. I wish less people were jumping to conclusions, overreacting without reading the proper translation, and taking things so personally. The translation is fairly clear and easy to read.

The Pope was going on a bit of a random tangent as he is prone to do while at cruising altitude, and brought up a women he knew who was having a lot a children via caesarean section contrary to medical advise. A few minutes later he refers to this woman when he is asked about family planning and poverty saying that it is not Catholic teaching for Catholics to act like rabbits. Which is true because we're human beings not animals who are slaves to their instincts. This is something the Church has never wavered on but has only become clearer and clearer about: people must use their sexuality in a way suitable to their nature, they cannot separate the reality of procreation from sexual activity nor are they meant to be procreating cogs in some kind of creation machine. Family planning must reflect the dignity of the human person. We are soul and body, capable of making intelligent decisions when we should further our families and at the same time are capable of restraint from engaging in sex. These concepts go hand in hand; if we're against contraception because it denies life, treats the human person below it's dignity, and lacks respect for our partner then we also should make the connection that we're rational beings who are responsible for our families, for bringing new life into the world, for the lives that we have already brought into the world, and for ourselves and our spouse.

The problem with this teaching as with almost every other Catholic teaching is the extremes. It is so hard to get the teaching of the Church regarding family planning right because orthodoxy (to paraphrase Chesterton) is a precariously thin line between extremes. The extreme of using contraception to "plan" a family is an easy extreme that gives us human beings complete control, or more factually the illusion of complete control, over fertility. While the opposite extreme comes into play when people treat family planning as something that doesn't require human decision and input. God's plan for sex and our fertility is for us to be co-creators with him, to choose to open our hearts and bodies to the possibility of life at each and every act of sex while at the same time using our reason and understanding about when it may or may not be appropriate to be engaging in the activity that may make a baby. This teaching is a two sided coin that helps us understand our roles as co-creators with God while being responsible parents.

But again, it is right in the middle of extremes where orthodoxy resides. The Church's teaching doesn't seek to dehumanize us as cogs in God's people making machine with no choice or use of reason when it comes to parenthood, having as many babies as often as possible. But it is equally dehumanizing to rely on artificial means to stop conception as if we had no control over our sexual instincts.

It's really a good dose of common sense that sees the extremes yet realizes that virtue is found in the mean. The important fabric of Catholic teaching regarding family size is no exception to common sense.

As Catholics we've got to employ a little more common sense to everything else. Like the internet, like the media, like presuming the Pope said something and immediately taking offence or being hurt or getting upset. Because just as it is common sense to know that the media today will give their front teeth to catch the Pope saying something shocking, there is also common sense in believing that the Pope is a wise man who knows his stuff. It's a large leap to think that the Pope would want to offend large families and sacrificial mothers after all the wonderful things he's said about large families. He clearly has a great deal of appreciation for large families and is working hard to make helping all families a priority for the Church as a global whole.

And while I know that Pope Francis is a talkative guy who likes to let it all hang out so-to-speak when talking to reporters in airplanes, I also am sure that he does not intends to change Church teaching on a plane ride. Sure, I think that this most recent plane ride offered a lot of low hanging fruit for a media intent on finding imaginary change on fundamental strongholds of Catholic dogma. I also think that the way the media's portrayal of these comments to our society that is largely completely ignorant to basic Catholic beliefs will probably lead to more misinformation and misbelief across the board. Maybe it'll open up more opportunities for us to more clearly explain the nuances and fine line of what real Catholic orthodoxy regarding family planning is really all about, or maybe it will lead to a lot more strangers in the grocery store making snap judgements about me and my close age range of a handful of kids as being "more Catholic than the Pope."

But what if we use common sense to think about these supposed "gaffes"? The Pope is saying nothing untrue, he is simply saying things in ways our spin-saturated Western ears cringe at. They amount to chances to evangelize at best and annoyances at worst. Annoyances that are very small things to suffer and offer up especially when we realize we don't face forced abortions in our country if we have more than one child, we don't sleep in fear that our whole village will be massacred by barbarians because we are Christian, but that we have been given many gifts including freedom and formed consciences in the gift of the Catholic faith and to live our those truths. The Pope's job isn't to make life as easy as possible for us staying true to the faith in the Western world, or any part of the world, the Pope's job is to lead us all to Christ; the Way, the Truth, and the Life -- and we all know that we reach the truth faster when we use common sense.

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Seven Quick Takes vol. 111

Recapping the week with Kelly, visit This Ain't the Lyceum for the bestest (and read how Kelly works out to a certain podcast!).

{one}

Is it still January? Oh, it's January forever you say? This week was fairly unexciting, the weather was horrific, but the week was unexciting. And that's the wrap up for my week, you're welcome.

{two}

Just kidding, I've got 6 more takes to go!

The boys have been hitting the lego pretty hard in these last few cabin feverish weeks, and I can't fault them. They've been creating various flying gliders and things that they keep telling me are extremely important, it's sweet. Gemma is completely into Heidi, and it that feels like a major step because she doesn't really fall into listening to chapter books easily. So far she's been a big fan of the Little House books and now Heidi. I'm going to make her a bookworm yet! 

{three}

Let me tell you what the toddlers were up to this week: emptying drawers, emptying cupboards, spilling baking soda all of the bathroom floor, emptying containers of play-doh then hiding play-doh in bedrooms, emptying laundry baskets full of folded laundry, emptying bags of recyclables, trying to empty the garbage can (can I at least get mom points for not letting them do that?). When you've only got toddlers this all seems to be a big deal, but now I hardly even notice and take the mess for the price of ten uninterrupted minutes. It's a steep price, but I'm willing to pay it.

{four}

There were so many great things to read that I loved this week. Did you read Jenny's post on babies and debt? I completely understand where she's coming from with this post and I think the issue is a big one and very multifaceted. For each person the price of kids and it's importance will be measured against choosing to implement NFP or not, and that's a personal decision. But one solid foundational piece of Catholic social teaching is that the economic system as well as government should never be forcing unneeded burdens upon families, because that makes these choices even harder to make and maybe even takes away the choice altogether. I love that the family is the cornerstone of Catholic social teaching and that it always come back around to how we can best support the basic structure of society. I'm digressing from what Jenny said I think, but I just like that fact.

{five}

Hallie also wrote such a great post that I've honestly been dying to read for probably 8 years. It's something that I've dealt with probably 5 times over and will probably deal with my whole life. It's probably a very personal issue for me and all my issues, but I love how Hallie talks about it.

I love how Hallie talks about most things...as you can tell from my fangirl-ing in this week's podcast episode. I just thought it was such a wonderful conversation and I'm sure we'll want to have Hallie on as a guest again, or every month or so!

{six}

In a little bit of news I got published in a real live, in print, magazine! I had a previous blog post picked up in Catholic Insight, a Canadian Catholic magazine, in their December issue. Kinda a sweet little dream of mine come true. You can't read it online but I'm sure you'd love to receive a real live, in print Catholic magazine in the mail right? You can subscribe over here.

{seven}

Is everyone catching up on Downton Abbey? I definitely found some of the story-lines tiresome in this season, I'm talking to you Mary, but overall I feel as if the season gets better as it goes on and is much better than say, season three. Also, the Christmas special is highly enjoyable if you make it all the way through. Just some tv watching encouragement - because that's the type of coaching I'm qualified for!

Hope you all have a great weekend, I'm praying the husband doesn't get called to work too much because it's his on-call weekend...we'll see how it goes....

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The Ardent Charity of The Blessed Virgin Mary - The Ten Virtues of Mary Series

Mary's virtue of ardent charity, or love, has been described as the most important and overarching of all Our Blessed Mother's virtues. So no pressure writing about it today, oh no.

Ardent charity describes not Mary's generosity towards her favourite non-profit organizations around the Nazareth area, but how her love was solely focused on God in her every action, every decision, every act of her will and mind. We aren't used to thinking in the theological terms of charity equalling supernatural love, but that is exactly what charity is; the theological virtue that gives us the grace to love God for His own intrinsic goodness and love our neighbour out of love for God. Mary was so infused with the grace of this virtue that everything she did was an act of love for God.

I'm just going to let that idea sit with you a minute. Every choice Mary made, every action she accomplished in her life both big and small, every thought and act of her will was done for love of God. Can you imagine all of your actions done for love of Christ? Directed towards that love? Chosen with that love in mind? That is a powerful, marvellous thought that summons up depths in our hearts and spirituality that I don't think we ourselves believe our own puny souls capable. Or at least I don't. I picture that singular, powerful, burning love of Mary as the pinnacle of holiness. Everything that Mary's life was done out of this love, and that is what makes her the perfect example for all humanity. But how can I emulate such an otherworldly love? How to I grow in this virtue?

I know I want to grow in this virtue of ardent charity. I think if we boil down most of our spiritual struggles we'll find at the bottom the desire of our hearts to do the Lord's will in our lives, and to do His will with love and out of love. I know that my motives to love God often come from places of wanting to earn love, to meet expectations, to show God that I'm worthy of His love. These are all motives focused on myself, and done from a place where only my ego resides. I am not loving God for His own sake, because of His boundless goodness, or His limitless love.

But Mary choose to do every action from sweeping her floor, cleaning up after a toddling Christ-child, or walking up the hill of Calvary out of love for God. She held this love as the most important part of her life, she operated purely out of this love with zero self-importance or ego invading this powerful expression in her life. She made God's love known to the whole world and the entire course of history because of this ardent love. Mary's life was the perfect human cooperation with God and she is our perfect guide for living a life of virtue because of it.

Mary's life of perfected virtue is because of her relationship with the Trinity. She loved God who also was her Son, but what gave her the grace to love God so entirely was the indwelling of the Holy Spirit. This is the part we tend to forget, we forget that her relationship with God was not just with the physical human person she saw everyday, her own son, but how it also was a relationship with the Holy Spirit unseen within her soul.

We too experience life with the Holy Spirit through the sacraments, but how often do we try to cultivate this important relationship? I know I waste a myriad of opportunities to pray to the Holy Spirit. There are times where I feel defeated by my own small sins and could pray for the Holy Spirit for help but never do. Or what about teaching our children about God and the faith but so often come up short with the right words? I know the Holy Spirit is the fount of wisdom, but I hardly ever remember to ask for help when making a difficult decision or in asking how to deal with others with love instead of indifference.

In Mary's virtue of ardent charity I see the true beauty and power of love. It is a love the saturates the heart, mind, soul, and strength of a person. A love that transforms a young girl into the most important woman in history. But even more mysterious is the fact that the virtue of charity is given to all of us through the sacraments and living a life of grace. By treasuring the grace given to us, by appreciating it, by praying to the Holy Spirit we can grow in the same supernatural love which Mary exhibited. That's a marvel that Mary knows transforms lives and brings love to the world.

It's been a privilege being a part of this wonderful series. I have learned so much about Mary's virtues through this series of posts, please check them all out in case you've missed any - you'll really feel a boost to your spiritual life by reading these beautiful and practical approaches to learning from Our Blessed Mother. And thanks so much to Olivia for coming up with this great idea for a series, make sure to visit To the Heights tomorrow for a wonderful wrap-up giveaway!

This post is part of a series on the Ten Virtues of Mary, hosted by To the Heights and running every Tuesday until the middle of December. So if you need some help in the virtue department, here's a great place to start ;)

October 7 - An Introduction to the Ten Virtues of Mary - Olivia of To the Heights

October 14 - Lively Faith - Molly of Molly Makes Do

October 21 - Blind Obedience - Kendra of Catholic All Year

October 28 - Constant Mental Prayer - Jenna of Call Her Happy

November 4 - Heroic Patience - Kelly of This Ain't the Lyceum

November 11 - Profound Humility - Carolyn of Svellerella

November 18 - Angelic Sweetness - Regina of Good One God

November 25 - Divine Wisdom - Britt of The Fisk Files

December 2 - Universal Mortification - Abbey of Surviving Our Blessings

December 9 - Divine Purity - Gina of Someday Saints

December 16 - Ardent Charity - Christy of Fountains of Home

December 17 - Massive GIVEAWAY at To the Heights - Just in time for Christmas

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Choosing Peace This Advent When You're The Mom To Littles

Well, everyone, we're almost to the middle of Advent. We've got a finite amount of time left to prepare ourselves and families for the coming of Christ. And don't I know it that there are varietal mountains of things to get done and do for Christmas. If you're like me and have a handful of small people who depend upon you, trying to keep your sanity can become something like walking a tightrope until December 25.

I know how much work you're already doing. Right now just keeping my kids alive and our house afloat takes up a lot of energy. I hit the couch exhausted by 7 pm because five little people have needed me for their 60 cups of water, 10 times of getting everyone dressed to go outside, the preparation of every meal, the patience to deal with the spills and upsets and tantrums. It's a lot, it's important, and it's our daily duty and vocation.

As Christmas and Advent roll up I can feel the pressure to do more things, and a growing endless to-do list grows in my head. But I can't change the fact that even adding one more activity to our day can throw a wrench in our entire day, sending me spinning in a swirl of catching up and getting by.

But I want to buy all the gifts, and give everyone in our lives a small token of how we treasure them. I want to send all the Christmas cards, bake all the cookies, decorate all the things, celebrate everything there is to celebrate in this wonderful season! I also want to prepare, observe, sit quietly and appreciate the anticipation that Advent is meant to be.

Right now with all these little kids I've got to accept the fact that all that needs to happen and the time and energy I have don't quite match up. Even with simplifying, prioritizing, and selecting there's no getting around the fact that life with small children involves a lot of elbow grease and that Christmas adds even more to our plate. The reality is I need to pace myself and slow myself down. I have to come to grips that only the most important events will get us out of the house and only then with a good helping of effort and more work.

I've whittled things down, chosen carefully, but still the nagging persists in the back of my mind: "Do more, do more, do more..."

So, what's a girl to do?

I've gotta tell myself the sassy advice I doled out last year: calm-the-Jesse-Tree-down!

We can't get around the many things we need to do day in, day out as the mom to little ones. Even by parring things down there will be a lot of work for us this holiday season, there's no getting around it as we prepare our homes and families for Christmas, but we can choose mental peace this Advent. 

I don't have to give into that nagging temptation to do, to do, to do. This is so hard for me because if I have a spare moment instead of settling in the peace I feel hear the urge to keep doing, knock some more chores off that Christmas list, or even -- do more! I feel as if I may turn into a slave to these terrible temptations of lists in the back of my mind.

I feel like the lists and things that need to be done must consume all my time. But the fact is they really don't. Sure, it's a lot that needs to get done and most of it will need to be done by me, but I'm being a bit melodramatic in thinking it will take all 14 days left in Advent and all 24 hours of each day to complete them. The truth is if I devote a bit of time everyday to the intimidating NEED TO GET DONE list I'll make loads of headway. I enjoy the time I spend baking cookies while listening to my favourite podcasts with the kids, and I can wrap presents while watching Peaky Blinders with my husband. I can focus on enjoying entertaining friends and family because no one ever remembers if I had another appetizer or dessert out on the table - they remember the great times of being together.

At the end of the day the nagging to-do list can rob me of my mental peace. Mental peace is one of the gifts of Advent. God calls us to change, prepare ourselves, remodel our interior selves to better receive Christ at Christmas. But we have to actively choose to say no to the disruption of our inner peace and choose internal quiet, even from our own minds. I keep reminding myself that what needs to be done will get done, and it will get done little by little, I don't have to turn myself into a grump to do it, and I don't have to kill myself for a list of my own making.

It's really amazing how just making that simple, conscious choice to not do, do do, not struggle to get the endless done, to pace my work, changes how I approach my day. It tweaks my attitude towards one of mental peace. The many things that need to be done still need to be done of course, but my attitude helps in figuring out how to best do those tasks, maybe even enjoy myself while doing them, and making time and mental space to enjoy this festive season. We can't do it all as moms of littles, but we do a lot. Let's make the choice for our own peace this Advent.

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I Want To Build A Living Church

A few weeks ago I piled the kids into the car and drove a few miles down the road to have a picnic in the shadow of a beautiful country church. Our area is dotted every few miles with small, simple, yet beautiful churches that were first built by the Ukrainian, Polish, and other Eastern Europeans who settled the area over a hundred years ago. They were settlers who left horrendous political conditions, many were peasants who were treated as property by the rulers of the land that often changed with the winds. These pioneers came to a vast, empty country with harsh weather and little resources other than their own hard work and ambition to finally create their own lives. They traveled across this enormous country, dug through snow and ice, chopped, ploughed, planted and lived a difficult but free life in a new country a world away from where they were born. Along with this courage they brought their faith, and although they lived very simply they would band together with their nearest neighbours to construct a small, log church where a priest could visit whenever possible to give them the sacraments. Miles from the nearest community, there would be a tiny, sacred space built by farmers that showed how much they valued their faith in God who gave them a life fraught with suffering and hardship, but remained with them. The churches appear from seeming nowhere in farmers fields, pastures, or a clearing in the woods, like sprouts of spring flowers in a wilderness.

When I first moved to this area I worked with seniors and I remember one man telling me about building the town's Catholic Church in the early 1960's. He remembered figuring out difficulties involved with digging out the basement, assembling the framing of the walls of the church during violent winds, hoisting the roof trusses. He recalled these memories with a fond pride, a feeling of real accomplishment in tangibly helping build the Church where he could. A humble, small-town church which a bishop named Karol Wojtyla would one day visit.

I couldn't help but be moved by the romanticism of physically building a Church. Helping to make something substantial and visible that revealed your beliefs to the world. A task done to build up God's church on earth in a physical, real world. What a life accomplishment to look back and remember building a house of God. Images of the craftsmen who worked their whole lives building Chartes danced in my head.

But now the majority of these beautiful testaments to the first settlers of this country are empty. They are barred, boarded, and locked up. Many have been desacralized by the dioceses and have fallen into disrepair, victims to our harsh winters. The sacred spaces meant for worship go unvisited, unseen. People maintain the property surrounding the churches, but within there is no life. They have become just shells of a once living and active faith. Within two generations the faith that sacrificed to build a community church out of what little resources were to be had have been abandoned and forgotten by the communities of their descendants.

Every time I pass such a church I feel simultaneously inspired by the faith that once existed, and sorrowful for the absence of that faith today. I imagine the people who built those churches as they hauled logs to erect the walls, how they must have dreamed of adding the beauty of an altar, a special crucifix, a stunning icon. I see the family events that must have been celebrated there, the baptisms, the weddings; but also the grief and mourning of the deaths of small children, parents who died of illness, victims of farm accidents. Through all the workings of life the people would have gone to that church, a humble space in a wide, empty prairie which contained Christ the King in the Blessed Sacrament. They would have participated in the Mass along with the angels there in those echoey and draughty structures. The grace of Almighty God would have flowed to those people there through baptism, confession, marriage, anointing. Priests would have lived a life a sacrifice and difficulty to minister to these isolated areas, to people who spoke different languages, and in the burgeoning towns and communities. These churches represent that faith which was present in those people's lives and lives lived in faith.

I still think of the romanticism and privilege it would be to build a church. To hammer and nail or stack bricks or sculpt or design a testament to God here on earth. However, now when I think of building a church it occurs to me that I am indeed building the Church, through forming the little souls of my children that make up the Body of Christ. I'm forming immortal bricks who can choose to live a faith I pass down to them. These living pieces of the Church have incalculable potential. Their precious lives matter to God right now and as they grow and hopefully learn to live and love the faith my work in building will live on.

I want to be part of building a living Church, fully alive with an active faith. I want to build a Church that understands the value of suffering; that is able to appreciate true joy even in the midst of hardship. I want to build up a faith that is knowledgable and applicable to daily life, that will be with my children day in and day out, a faith that is truly lived. I want to build up a Church that knows the intimate and ever-flowing love of Christ; that seeks forgiveness, grace, and life in the Sacraments. I want to build a church that will not succumb to the elements, that will not become soft and rot. It is a lofty goal, only accomplished through God's grace, but it will remain my prayer as I make it my life's work.

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