Confessions from the margins of time

In the midst of this blogging break I've been wondering, "Where in the actual have the margins of time gone where I used to blog??"

I ask the question because I have only and ever blogged in bits and pieces here and there. The 20 minutes the kids are watching a cartoon, the spare minutes in nap time where I wasn't cleaning something or doing laundry or cooking, a couple minutes after dinner. If I ever have gotten more than an hour to devote solely to writing I can't remember it! Even if I was writing for an hour chances are that I was interrupted at least 10 times.

And I'm not sure if how I spend my time has actually changed. My kids are a little older, most are very self-sufficient, but there are still requests on a minute-ly basis, umpteen fights to break up, more questions to answer, and the pressing need to find whatever someone has lost in the last five minutes. They're doing some chores around the house but I've still got to do things to keep things at a bare minimum of cleanliness. So there's that.

All told I think we do on average between 3-4 hours of school work a day. But this is broken up throughout the day. And on top of actually doing the school work it's the mental energy that's required to make sure school gets done, what's going to be done today, and who's doing it that seems to make it feel much longer.

We're around the house most days of the week depending on the season. When we have activities it easily takes up the entire afternoon at the very least because of the driving time to get anywhere. So all things being equal I don't feel overly "busy" or over scheduled. Which is good. Focus on the good here, Christy.

I think the difference comes in the mental space I have. There is not a lot of mental space for a homeschooling mom in the day! And on top of making sure school work is done I feel almost an added burden to make sure I'm just spending "mom time" with my kids aside from school which is difficult some days when I am burnt out of patience and energy just by doing school. I think too as my kids grow older it takes a more concerted effort to make sure that connection happens each day, that I'm really listening to them, that I'm really answering their questions, that I'm really present for the little ones when they want attention, and on and on it goes.

It just all takes up so much mental energy that those 5-15 minutes where I used to be able to tappity-tap something that was worth writing and/or reading are 5-15 minutes where I have to just take some time for a complete break. I know you get this. I know you know this feeling!

I wish there was just a smidgen of more margin in my day. Like an 8 hour break where the kids were supervised and taught by other people kind of break, wink wink, I'm just joking...or am I?...no, I'm pretty sure I'm just joking. And I think it's going to be a couple more years before that becomes a reality of my day-to-day. The other answer is that I schedule or organize or figure my ish out enough to make myself a couple hours a week where I just write sans interruption. Which is something I'm trying to figure out. I believe all things are figure-out-able, but it sure can take a while to get there.

So that's my not too exciting story for today. I thought I'd blog these thoughts and get them out of the way, if I'm missing something really blatant - go ahead and tell me what to do, be my life coach! If not, then solidarity because you're probably in this same spot.

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