{pretty, happy, funny, real}

Just linking up with Like Mother, Like Daughter today with some random captures.

pretty

I love tulips. Love. Looovee.

If I could I'd have them in my house every day of the year. So this being the beginning of cheap grocery store tulip season, I should be throwing a small party or something. Fresh flowers are never a regretful buy!

Bonus-my coffee grinder, you're welcome.

happy

I'm not sure if this should qualify in my "happy" category because I'm only a little past halfway done my little baby's baby blanket and I've been working on it since November. So chances are good this baby is going to be born way before I finish. I tried to go with a gender neutral colour, but it looks more turquoise in reality. I think the pattern is quite pretty and the yarn is beautifully soft, but it is a deceptively time consuming pattern! I putter away at it while sitting with the hubby at night while he watches hockey. He complains I'm not giving him undivided attention, I complain about watching too much hockey, it really brings out the romance.

funny

I caught Max mid belly laugh the other night. I love that baby belly laugh where they seem to laugh with their whole body. He was finding some sound absolutely hilarious. He's adorable. Its hard to get mad at him when he has a face like this, even though he seems to work full time as a "screech owl". 

I'm linking this with Cari because this most definitely looks like happiness and joy to me! 

real

Still can't really talk about this. 

I'm feeling lonely and sad. While watching the coverage this morning I just wondered what Pope Benedict must be thinking. Is it relief? Or is it extreme trust to leave something so big, so immense? I don't think we'll understand the gravity and importance of what he is doing for a long time. And at the same time I'm sure the fruits of his sacrifice and prayer will be huge. God works in amazing ways.

We're heading to Mass here at noon which will be 8:00 pm Roma time. I think it'll be the best thing to be doing at such an important time. Praying for the Holy Father, for our Church, for our future Pope! 

Tuesday Happenings

Today's off to a bangin' start! 

I was hoping to get into the big city today because my mom could watch the kids and it'd be wise to see my midwife and have a good time at the Costco to begin stockpiling preparations for the incoming bambino, but lo and behold Dom threw up around 9:30. So I'm pretty sure I shouldn't be going anywhere today, mostly because the deluge of vomit may be a-comin! Such a pleasant thought.

Max was also at his peak screeching volume this morning and I was more than happy to put him down for a life-saving nap before 10 am. 

I'm starting to obsess that my little in-utero baby is pointing in the wrong direction. There is just way too much kicking/punching in the opposite direction than there should be. Or else maybe this child is going to be some kind of boxing prodigy. I can't do a breech birth naturally. I can barely do birth naturally when I know everything is perfect. I can barely do the idea of birth who am I kidding!? Anyway- more crazy for cray-cray me!!

I've officially cleared all of Thursday to be an emotional mess. I still can't really imagine dear Pope Benedict stepping down. I think I need to be emotional for a good day at least to get all my feelings out of my system. I'm also going to go into full geek mode over this conclave. Seriously, I'm capable of limitless Catholic geek-ness. 

I'm not sure whether to attribute my restlessness/scatter-brain-ness to this unending February or the third trimester. But I just can't stop going from one thing to the next thing all while not accomplishing much at all. But going from one thing to the next thing veerrry slowly because I'm waddling, and it feels like it takes me triple the time it used to take me to do anything. 

I think I moved the fastest I have in months yesterday when I saw Max hanging off of the kitchen table. He had somehow cantilevered himself on his stomach while trying to find a chair to get down from the kitchen table but there was no chair. It was kinda hilarious and I really wanted to take a picture but thought that probably wouldn't be the best mom choice since at any second he could just let go and eminently smash his poor head open. Somehow I saved him using my spider-man like reflexes. Which haven't been used in eons. Minor miracle...no big deal...

Ok, I'm off to dose people with Pepto-Bismol and cover my furniture with lysol and worry about things out of my control...livin' the dream people!

Seven Quick Takes vol.34

Joining Jen as usual-eternally pregnant women unite!

{one}

Has anyone else been reading those papabile articles by John Allen? They're pretty interesting, as in most Cardinals have pretty amazing stories as to what they've done in the their lives and great varying experiences. But then at the end of the article Allen succinctly sums up why the cardinal in question wouldn't be garnering votes, you know- too lefty, too righty, too Jesuity, too smarty. (I've been reading a lot of Dr. Suess this week ok?!) And then after you read the faults against the Cardinal your reaction is "Psshha the guy hasn't got a chance of a vote!" I think that feeling comes from our my presumption that you have to be perfect to become a pope, or a saint, or someone holy. I believe Blessed John Paul II and Pope Benedict XVI were extremely holy popes, but even they had flaws and I'm sure the flaws they had before they became pope were even more well known. No one's perfect unfortunately. I think we'd all feel better about an election if there was a perfect candidate out there with a red cap.

{two}

On that note how ridiculously hard would it be to be a Cardinal right now?! Wouldn't the pressure seem intense?? How do you weigh the faults of one guy against the other? The good works and abilities of one against someone who has completely different abilities and talents? It just seems to be further evidence that the Holy Spirit has to be at work in that whole thing. Although this article that talked about Pope Benedict not thinking the Holy Spirit was directly involved definitely made me think "Oh great, we're all screwed!" But only for a small amount of time I promise-I've got a lot of faith in the Holy Spirit, and the eternal nature of the Papacy, and prayers...

{three}

I haven't talked much about Lent because I'm not doing anything. I didn't take on any extra prayers or works, I didn't even think about giving anything up. I talked to my spiritual director before Lent began and just said flat out I can't handle anything else. I'm a wimp. I've been doing a horrible job just with my third trimester sacrifices as it is. So he told me that sometime life asks a lot of us and that we should just be focusing on what we're called to do in the moment. And accepting what God is asking of us. All of which I've been stinking at lately. I was doing pretty good until about yesterday, and I spent the whole morning in an awful mood crying about everything. 

{four}

Max is going through this high-pitched screaming stage where he screams whenever he wants something, or whenever he's hungry (which is pretty much all the time since he has the metabolism of a large horse), or whenever he wants me (which is also all. the. time.). It is really hard for me to not scream at him. Hoping this stage magically passes in the night. 

{five}

As usual Jen always writes what I think much better than I can even talk about those things. If you haven't read this article about reasons not to say you're done having kids go right now. Whenever I hear someone say that whether they're Catholic or not I get a sad sinking feeling inside me. I mean even though I'm about the farthest away from being even close to controlling/postponing/grappling with my own super-fertility if I had the superpower to magically control my super fertility, to easily say "I'm done", I think I'd still always have a deep hardness within my heart. Its as if being completely closed to life kills something within the heart. I'm fumbling with words here, but thats a quick idea. 

{six}

I've been really anxious the last couple weeks. Anxious mostly about the birth and labour and pain and health of my child and what will be happening to the other kids and how long will it take me to recover and will we make it to the city, etc etc etc. I don't usually struggle with anxiety. But in every pregnancy I have a lot of anxiety regarding birth, so much so that its hard for me to even picture the baby at the end of it. I feel like there must be something a little wrong with me because it seems every other mother is able to clearly picture getting past the pain to the baby on the other side and seeing the birth as a blip along the way, while I seem to have irrational fears about everything about it. My births haven't been traumatic even-I really don't have much to base these fears and anxieties on. I've even not been in control to the degree I'd like to be since my first birth which was at home, since then I haven't been able to be where I wanted to be yet everything still worked out. My only medical concern is my extreme after birth pains that this time I'm combatting with a serious painkiller to avoid 40+ hours of contractions AFTER the baby is born. So everythings under control. But I still seem to spend most of my day praying through anxiety. Hormones much??

{seven}

This. All week.

And this forever pregnancy is only coming a close second to this forever winter. It was bitterly cold, grey, snowy, and windy this whole week. I don't want to be a Canadian who complains about winter, because that is truly the most annoying human trait conceivable, but the continual grey is starting to get to me. I honestly can't imagine spring at this point. Like I honestly can't imagine being NOT pregnant. 

New Glasses

In the category of non-headline news this morning-my new glasses! 

Its official. My blog ship has come in. Getting offered a pair of free glasses pretty much blows away any expectations I had of this little hobby. I love glasses, seriously, I would gladly go all Elton John and sport a new pair every day if I could! 

Firmoo.com has a ton of selection and it was really hard for me to decide, but eventually I went with this rectangular burgundy pair operating under the fashion theory that I needed a little more colour to balance out my tortoise shell pair that I've been sporting for almost a year. 

Lets all agree that these pictures are much too much of my face. 

I don't mind taking a risk buying glasses off the internet, I'm usually confident in what looks good on me, mostly because I've been wearing glasses since I was 6, but Firmoo does have a handy First Pair Free program which should help all you indecisive glasses lovers. Glasses are too much fun to not take a risk with-especially with a free pair! And Firmoo is also one of the only glasses websites that offers free shipping to Canada which has to be some kinda miracle for us Canadians! 

Anyway-thats my two cents worth of glasses advice, I love glasses, the end.

In case you need some unsolicited free advice...

I'm over at Beth's blog, A Day in the Life of a Roz, today doling out free advice regarding those little newborn creatures and first time mommy-hood. 

Don't die from suspense-go see my wacky ideas and say hi to Beth!

Newborn Life and Why You Should Read Wise Mom Blogs

We all know that I've been living in a fairly continuous season of babies. My oldest daughter is five, eighteen months later we welcomed her first little brother, then only eleven months after that another son, and then twenty six months after that another little boy wonder. Now I'm about a month away from entering the wonderfully strange and unusual land of newborn-ness for the fifth time, this time about 15 months after my last foray. Very tight spacing! But along with this tight spacing comes not only the unneeded remarks from strangers, relatives, or anyone who feels the need to toss in their ten cents worth of opinion, on the busyness or closeness in age of my children, but a more and more casual attitude towards the new wonder of a new child and all that comes along with it. I feel like I'm still unable to articulate this phenomenon somehow, but it does boil down to a casual nonchalance over the impact a new child has upon a mother and a family.

It seemed with every successive one of my pregnancies that people viewed the birth and general upheaval of a new baby as something more commonplace, or no big deal, simply because we had experienced one in the not so distant past. Even closer relatives seemed to dismiss the importance of such a life changing experience. I'm not sure why I felt this impression from others. I'm not the most sensitive person in the world, and I've mostly gotten over any worry about what other people think, but somehow in the back of my mind I was always unsettled as to why I found birth, newborns, and all the changes that accompanies them so immense, so important, so much bigger than everyone else seemed to view them. Maybe its just human nature not to get too excited over the same thing happening to the same people time and time again? Maybe our culture has so devalued life that newborns and all their newness simply don't register in any scale of importance, and if they do only for the first child? Maybe I'd simply had a couple of rough experiences with postpartum in general that I was a little too sensitive to the effects of a new child?

Regardless of where this attitude of casualness instead of wonder comes from I've always felt it without being able to put my finger on the idea of it exactly. It was just a vague gut feeling I had but didn't know quite how to voice. But the other day I read this lovely post by Sarah from Clover Lane and her words expressed perfectly this idea I've been feeling for years:

"I feel sometimes like there is a message out in our society today to "get back to life" as quickly as possible after our babies are born.  Back to our old selves, back into shape, back to work, back to our old routines-just keep life going like a truly amazing miracle didn't just land into our lives.  To go on and appear as if nothing ever happened-this makes me mad that this is applauded and praised today-it's truly ridiculous, but very sad also.  It's an indication of a deep chasm in the most important bond of mother and baby.  

I think babies deserve to rock the world of those around them a little.  To stir things up, to make us rethink priorities, to bond-totally and completely giving ourselves to them when they need it most.  Even if that means little things like fat pants for awhile, or a makeup drawer that goes untouched for months, or big things like lots of "no's" to invitations and commitments, or everything that once seemed so important plummeting down that priority list and maybe even disappearing.  Of course we can rebuild slowly-on the baby's timeline-but things shouldn't look the same ever.  We all need to move over and make space for this precious new life we brought into the world.  Babies deserve it, and we moms do also."

As soon as I read her words I felt instantly validated in my previous feeling regarding babies.  I thought-finally this is exactly what I've been thinking and I thought I was just crazy! Its so wonderful to read truth and feel the reverberations of it in your own thinking. Its also an added bonus when you read these words from experienced mothers. Hence why I think listening to experienced mom's wisdom be it online or offline is so important and necessary for us moms of young children. 

Motherly wisdom comes from years and years of practice. And usually lots of children. I know when I look for real advice I can trust aside from fads and fancies that lots of moms get carried away with I ask my mom, and sometimes my friends' moms. They've been through the ringer with multiple children and have realized the truth of most of these tough parenting secrets that most younger moms claim to have the answers to but usually have only one itsy bitsy kid under their belt. Even though I've got four kids I really think  my knowledge applies pretty much only to some useful attitudes towards toddlerhood and babyhood. An expansive knowledge of mothering can only come from a wider experience of ages, development, and unique personalities. 

So yet again I'm so happy that there are beautiful, experienced mothers with blogs who write about timeless truths. I'm sure most of you have realized this a long time ago and I'm slow to jump on board! It really does help new and young mothers build confidence in the real and often times difficult vocation of motherhood. 

And heres some of my favourite blogs that you should be reading if you aren't already: Clover Lane, Like Mother, Like Daughter, In the Heart of My Home, Testosterhome.

What I Wore Sunday or more accurately some baby first steps

I think What I Wore Sunday is one of the few motivating factors that make me put in even a small amount of effort into my wardrobe these days so here's my non-exciting entry for this week!

As usual we went to our only Mass of the weekend Saturday night so forgive my terrible lighting! My little cling-on decided to photo bomb these pics by whipping out his little used new skill of walking! This is exciting stuff my friends, we try to coax a few steps out of him and he'll adamantly refuse, until for some strange reason a mood will strike and he'll just walk around like he's been walking for months or something! This was one of those rare moments...which come to think about it was pretty handy since we already had the camera ready.

See my sheer amazement?! Also my really frizzy hair? I'm going to blame it on pregnancy but its really been a lifelong chronic condition.

I finally broke down and bought some maternity skinny jeans from Gap which I don't regret at all because I'll probably wear them even more postpartum because I'm lazy. And this is a maternity top from Old Navy, I kinda wish I bought it in the pattern it came in now, but the pockets are pretty fun. This is exactly the kind of top I tend to hold off for the longest possible time because it just makes me look tenty-pregnant...does that make sense? I think its because I'm so short that these long, dress-like tops just don't work on me. But such is being eight months pregnant right? 

Oh! I can't forget that I actually got to wear wedges today because we were experiencing balmy positive single digit temperatures! I was probably risking my poor unborn child in navigating snow and ice from the car to the church...but it felt like a great change of pace from boots! I admit it. 

Make sure to go visit the way more fashionable ladies at Fine Linen and Purple!