Wednesday, June 4, 2014

How To Give Yourself No Expectations for Life Postpartum - A Guest Post




My lovely blogging friend Olivia from To The Heights just had her first bundle of joy last week and asked me to write up a little guest post. Olivia's blog is a great mix of interesting topics from marriage, to health, to life as a Catholic. I really enjoy all she writes so it was an honour to be able to post for her!



Olivia requested something about advice I'd give for life postpartum and this post is the best I could come up with. I honestly tried not to be a Debbie Downer, but I find that there's not a lot of places to find genuine honesty about life postpartum, especially in our culture today which places so much importance on having the perfect birth, the perfect recovery, the perfect baby. (Mostly because you're only going to go through it one time!) But life postpartum, like motherhood itself, can be both good and difficult - and you've gotta talk about all of it. I hope to encourage those of us who may not have had our desired level of comfort right after birth or struggled with postpartum depression. And now I'll stop blabbing because clearly I could write several postpartum posts!

Do go check it out at To The Heights, and congratulate Olivia on her sweet son!







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What I've Been Reading Lately - Book Notes




For some reason I haven't written about any books I've read lately so I thought I'd do a quick recap or else I'll be bogged down with book reviews around here. And I won't have a reader left!



Here's what I've been reading:



The Goldfinch by Donna Tartt

I recently read Donna Tartt's first novel The Secret History, and was impressed with how well done it was and how much it pulled me into the story for being what I thought would be an unappealing plot-line. But Donna Tartt's brilliance as a writer succeeds in pulling the reader into a different world, with surprising emotional impact. The Goldfinch has been the biggest serious book release of the last year, and I was surprised with how much I enjoyed reading it, even when there was difficult sections to read. The plot follows Theo Decker and the tragic loss of his mother and his relationship with The Goldfinch, a priceless work of art he takes in the aftermath of the bombing that kills his mother. It is a modern Dickensian storyline that explores the themes of loss, beauty, art, luck, fate, self delusion when it comes to sin, and our personal tendencies towards sin and how difficult it can be to change once we discover our weaknesses. It's most definitely not a cut and dry take on morality, but it does an excellent job provoking a deeper introspection when it comes to human nature and what can change our lives for better or worse. I think it will prove to be a classic.




The Rosie Project by Graeme Simsion

This was such a great, light-hearted, yet endearing book I can't help but recommend it. It's a romance that centres around the eccentric Don Tillman who probably lives with undiagnosed Aspergers syndrome. The story is seen through his quite wonderfully odd world view that brings to life a hilarious, yet very touching love story that is entertaining but also speaks to what it means to love in a very thoughtful way.








Bonhoeffer: Pastor, Martyr, Prophet, Spy by Eric Metaxas


A massive, yet very well done biography of a leading German Protestant theologian and minister during the Nazi era. I admit I skimmed a lot of chapters, but what stuck out for me was the family culture of Bonhoeffer growing up which produced three sons who stood up to Nazism to the point of death very beautifully portrayed. Also; it was really interesting to read about the effect of faith mixed within a nationalistic culture. Hitler used the German church for his own benefit and then turned upon it with the cooperation of much of the church hierarchy until the very end. Bonhoeffer saw how Hitler's philosophy and politics was toxic to Jews, and in turn Christians, and the need for Christianity to defend and stand up to him, but so many church leaders looked past this for the sake of maintaining a German church. It really shows the wisdom of Christ founding a universal Church, one not dependent on geography, race, or nationality. The historic context is very well done, I felt as if I learnt so much German history by simply reading along.



The Heir Apparent: A Life of Edward VII, the Playboy Princby Jane Ridley

I admit I didn't make it through this one but enjoyed the writing. I love a good royal biography, but I simply couldn't make it through the decades of romantic escapades that are described in full detail. I think it must be a difficult topic to try and tackle so I'm in full admiration of the writers who research and try to make sense of the Victorian era, and especially Edward who was really a singular figure of his time. Much like Prince Charles now, it was a difficult spot to live a perpetual life of waiting to ascend the thrown but never being given any experience or opportunity to gain experience in ruling. I wish I could have made it to the point in the book where he becomes king, but maybe I'll try again sometime. Oh, and Victoria was a very complicated monarch, and her mothering style is one that is not to be imitated whether you're a royal or not!





Persuasion by Jane Austen

Reading every Jane Austen novel in a year is so much fun! I thought I'd get bored, but we're half way through now and I can honestly say that reading a little Jane a day makes me a much happier person!












And would you look at that - FIVE books to talk about...I guess I'll have to drop by Hallie's and so should you! Since it's What We're Reading Wednesday I'll have to link up with the lovely Jessica too! 










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Sunday, June 1, 2014

What I Wore Sunday, before falling down the stairs




Since I'm wearing a new dress and haven't posted an outfit in ages, might as well post today on this belated Feast of the Ascension!




Dress: Modcloth
Denim Jacket:  Old Navy
Shoes: Just Old


 

I'm naming this dress my Joan dress because the crazy retro pattern just screams Joan to me.

I watch a lot of Mad Men ok?!


Right after the lovely Gemma photographed me and my cute dress, I changed into some schlubby shorts because I thought I'd get some a sundry painting and gardening done outside. But first the entryway rug was filthy and begging to be cleaned and stored away for the summer so I thought I'd throw it on the stairs to the deck and hose it off quickly. It took only a minute, I turned to walk down the four or five steps to the lawn and slipped, falling on my back and down the rest of the steps. I fell banana-peel style and have been laid up since. I'm fairly certain it's just badly, badly bruised and nothing is seriously damaged but most of my back is so very sore. I'm hoping I'll be able to walk and sit by tomorrow morning or else...there's going to be a lot of cartoons around here.

And since I'm lying here on a beautiful Sunday afternoon - Kendra's questions for the week:

1. Do I have a smart phone?

I'm sure if you put up with my Instas ad nauseum you know it to be true! I probably love it more than I should. And I almost never talk on it unless I'm driving, with bluetooth of course! But I do text my friends more than speak to them on the phone, because it's just easier with 5 kids constantly needing things. I wish I could just speak face to face, but I'd rather keep in touch any way I can!

2. Which is your favourite meal?

I think I like snacking more than a meal these days. Mostly because it's just less work for me. If hummus and french bread were a meal that might be my fave. But I'll go with breakfast, but eaten after being awake for several hours. I reeeally enjoy brunch. Breakfast food, but not early! 

3. Shower or Bath?

Bath. Bath. Bath, bath. When we moved into our little house right after we were married the upstairs main bathroom's shower wasn't functioning at all. We thought it a major inconvenience and spent months searching plumbing stores for the proper piece that would fix the malfunctioning shower spigot. But by the time we found the part we were both hooked on baths. I shower maybe once a week and bath 6 times a week! It's a perfect proportion. We have a beautifully deep bathtub though, and having a good bath tub is now on the must-have list for future homes.

4. Think of a person you love. How many days have you been in love with that person?

I don't know the exact date, because I can't remember a time where I wasn't in love with my husband. (Gah. So much public affection, I'm disgusting myself. ;) ) But I'll go with over ten years ago, the date we officially began dating, June 25, 2003 = 3994 days.  A little over a third of my life. Not too shabby, I'm up for many more! 

5. What's the best church you've been inside? 

It would probably be St. Peter's just because I haven't been to too many extravagant places and because I can't pick a church from Rome, because there's too many! I wish I had spent enough time in Europe to get to know one particularly spectacular Church. Because there really is nothing like becoming familiar with the beauty of a particular church. Like dear St. Hedwig's in Barry's Bay where I spent many a quiet moment, and daily Mass during university...lovely!

6. Happy Feast of the Visitation! Has anyone ever come to help you? 

My mom has always come to help me out with my babies. Of course, she doesn't have to leave the comfort of her own home, she just walks down the road, so it's especially wonderful for me! But we all know I'd be hooped without the help, and I think that on a daily basis! Especially though, those tough few months after Gemma was born and I was never sleeping, and recovering from a rough birth, and had so many complications getting used to motherhood. It was all a blur so really, my mom rescued me there! Thanks be to God, and Mary's intercession I'm sure! 

Visit the FLAP ladies for better outfits and Kendra for better answers!














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Saturday, May 31, 2014

Real Knowledge - Weekends with Chesterton







I just love this quote to remind me of what's really important; what's important about learning and education and the life of the mind is not to acquire a party-trick like mind, or a brain to brag about, but the ability to appreciate a poem, or the world around us. 

This can apply to ourselves, but also to our children. Especially homeschooling moms who feel the weight of having to teach their children ev.er.y.thing. True wisdom comes in the ability to appreciate, enjoy, and take in the world. Yes, it requires being able to read and write, but they in themselves are not the end we're trying to attain. We're not trying to attain skills, but we're practicing skills in order to appreciate and know the world. 


This all feels much too brainy for such a beautiful Saturday!




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Wednesday, May 28, 2014

Mad Men Recap - Waterloo



If you had told me two episodes ago that this mini-season of Mad Men was going to end with the hopeful, whimsical, after-death, song and dance number by Bert I would never have believed you. And that ladies and gentlemen is why Mad Men is one of the greatest tv shows ever. I rest my case.

But there is still so much to talk about in this episode!

It's hard to see in obvious ways where the themes of this season are present in more than one episode because the writers are so good at weaving in small ideas in small places. But when we break the themes down to brass tacks we can see general recurrences. There is the hope versus scepticism idea that is present in almost all the story lines, but plays out most dramatically at the office as Jim plots the overthrow of all creativity, art, and the human element of advertising for the number crunching, impersonal touch of the IBM. The idea of family, what binds a character's family together and how they have failed in many aspects of family life, comes out again at the office where surprisingly Roger and Don fight for the preservation of each other and the common goal of everyone in the office. As the unknown consequences of technology have everyone tentative or frightened at some level this season, most noticeably sending Ginsberg off the edge, in this episode the moon landing has the surprising effect of bringing the whole country together and creating a human connection through shared experience of something inspiring and wonderful.



The episode's overarching hopeful tone was one that has been so missed in this season and most of last season as well. It felt satisfying to finally see genuine growth in positive directions especially in our main characters. Peggy and her odd relationship with Julio is such a sweet, intimate scene where Peggy's maternal instinct hits the right note; a skill she has such difficulty with when it comes to men or at the office. It's interesting that this is the first positive moment of a maternal nature she's experienced, and after she asked what she could be doing wrong last episode. There has been a lot of discussion about the idea of Mad Men redefining the family last week, but in another light I think of it more as a rediscovering of what family really means since every character has had such bad experiences involving family. Peggy hasn't dealt with her motherhood for almost ten years, to finally have a glimpse of maternal feeling may be a step to a deeper realization about the fact she is a mother, even though she isn't raising her child. I can't help but feel this was an important episode for Peggy both professionally and personally. She even capitalizes on this maternal view in her poignant pitch for Burger Chef, jumping in to deliver the pitch with panache and confidence, thanks to Don's selfless act of giving her the pitch.




This passing off of the pitch to Peggy is the first thing Don has done for someone else when times get tough. He usually is reactive, searching out people to stomp with his advertising genius, flexing his creative muscle, or finding another woman to sleep with, or bottle to empty. But an act of selflessness is completely contrary to his earlier behaviour. It's this selflessness not only towards Peggy, but to the whole agency to which he now recognizes loyalty towards; even though they have been actively trying to push him out, that signals personal change for Don Draper.




As Roger tries to defend Don to Bert, Bert comments that Roger is no leader. It's a stinging remark even though it was meant in Bert's trademark kindly sage/uncle manner. Roger has never really shown leadership, he's cruises merrily through life and even psychedelic orgies; at work he likes to go where the money is and does what it takes to keep his name on the door. But after Bert's death Roger springs into action to save SC&P from the soulless agency of Jim Cutler's dreams. Roger's genuine friendship with Don is the impetus for him to pursue a takeover from McCann, and he finely crafts a subsidiary agency of which he'll be president and Jim only a lowly partner. The catch is everyone must sign a 5 year contract, including Ted Chaough, who is clearly going a bit off his rocker when he cuts the engine in his plane while flying with Sunkist. Don quickly smooths things over with Ted, promising the creativity both he and Ted can't live without with none of the hassles of running the company.



After this seemingly happy conclusion of winning Burger Chef and saving the company by selling to McCann, Don turns to see a Bert apparition standing be-socked in the office, calling Don "my boy". Bert's lilt into "The Best Things in Life Are Free" complete with dancing secretaries was one of the best moment in tv ever. I thought it was a hilarious, whimsical ode to a character the show has always valued, if used sparingly. To have Bert come to Don singing the praises of a life not built around material wealth and Don so visibly touched was a moment that was revealed to contain so much meaning. Don must recognize this truth spoken to him from beyond the grave, and yet he has just signed up for more money and 5 more years of work. Is his happiness to be found through his work? Can he find and maintain hope for ever really knowing love? Will the office continue to find human connection in each other or does this hopeful mid-season ending spell doom and destruction for the finale?



Even though this show has great writing, fantastic acting, and impeccable costume and set design, I believe that what makes the show inherently great is Matthew Weiner's creation of a truly human story. Don is journeying through the question of "Who Am I?" but also "Who Are These People in My Life?" These are the questions we've been asking throughout history and in every great story and piece of art. As a Catholic I believe that this human story ends in hope, but we will have to wait yet another year to see if that is how Mad Men will finish.

Wrapping up with some quick notes:


  • Sally and the older shirtless boy. I don't really buy what has been floating through the blogosphere about Sally wanting to be Betty and trying to find a test subject of a boyfriend.  I think it was more of Sally flexing her teenage charms, but then realizing the nerdy boy with the telescope may be more interesting than the boy she wants to impress. All the domestic scenes of the families watching the moon landing were perfectly done, I really appreciated the glimpse of awe and wonder.
  • Joan! I don't think Joan got good shift with the writing this season because her anger to Don just because he's costing her money doesn't seem to warrant her cold reactions. I believe that she's a good business woman, that she deserves all that she gets, but it's harder to believe that she can so easily toss Don under the bus. 
  • Harry Crane - No millions for you! Muahaha!
  • Megan - I was somewhat disappointed she wasn't the one dying this episode. Just because I was so tired of her I hoped for a dramatic ending to redeem having to sit through her storyline all season. And the shameless last scene in a bikini?!? Really?!? If all she does all day is sit around in the California sun in a bikini then the writers never really wanted us to feel bad about this breakup. Let's all collectively cross our fingers she doesn't come back when she hears about Don's new millions.
  • Meredith was so hilarious. How she beckoned Don to sit next to her on the couch? I may have been laughing so hard tears were streaming down my face.
Well, thanks for putting up with me. I wish I could have written better, deeper recaps but then they wouldn't get posted until next season! Maybe next year I'll give it another whirl!






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Tuesday, May 27, 2014

How To Love Being Home When You Feel Stuck at Home .... is a guest post!




fountains of home



Sarah my friend from the great blog Two O's Plus More, had her sweet third son last week! Since it takes a while to break newborns into the habit of blogging Sarah is kindly hosting me at her place today. 

"I thought I'd write a little something about what I'd like to read about if I had just given birth to my third child, and what struck me is how to love your home when it feels as if you're home all the time. Like that lovely period when you have a newborn infant who likes to breastfeed every 4.3 minutes, and other toddlers whom you don't have the energy to both dress and wrangle into car seats for a glorious 5 minute errand, and/or it's been snowing for 5 months..." 

Head on over to Sarah's to read it all.





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Friday, May 23, 2014

Seven Quick Takes vol. 90



I've done 90 quick takes?! How long have I been blogging anyway?
Jump over to the Fulwiler for the best of the best!



{one}




We had a lovely week on the whole after recovering from a stomach-flu ridden long weekend! Doesn't a normal day without vomit really show you how good life can be? I think it was good we were all forced to slow down somewhat last week, even though we didn't have fancy plans, because it's been a bit of craziness with soccer and my husband driving so much to go to school everyday in the city. It was a weekend full of family tromps through the forest, looking at baby calves, playing with baby kittens, and nursing our baby Nora who was stricken the worst with the stomach plague. And the weather wasn't great so we didn't have to feel guilty about not going camping somewhere...oh wait...I never feel guilty for not camping!

{two}




The big news of the week however was Gemma turning 7! 7 people!? How did this happen?! I know, I know, every sentimental mom out there waxes poetically about their rapidly aging offspring but honestly, my child was honestly a baby yesterday and now she's seven. And reading and telling me I can't say things because they're not cool. 

We had a small family birthday with her but as usual she was joyful and enthusiastic and full of birthday glee! She's really a wonderful, caring, happy, joyful person, who just loves everyone so much. Seriously, she's such a love. We're so lucky to have her in our family, and I'll stop before I start crying...

{three}

The day after Gemma's birthday is my birthday so we just kept the cupcakes coming and pretended I'm not trying to lose all that baby weight that's been hanging around for over a year. It works out to a birthday week of sorts so there's nothing to complain about around here. It's my last year of 20-hood, which means I should be hitting some 30 before 30. Maybe?

{four}




On to some newsier news: Sarah, from Amongst Lovely Things, has just written and released a great new ebook on homeschooling called Teaching From Rest: A Homeschooler's Guide to Unshakable Peace. It's a wonderful read that brings into focus what our attitude should be towards homeschooling and how this relates towards our kids, our homes, and ourselves. I think Sarah did an impeccable job bringing together spiritual ideas to the practical forefront of motherhood and life in the home. It's really a great resource that I think can speak to anyone no matter what point they are in their homeschooling experience. I'd even recommend it for those currently not homeschooling because the book's philosophy towards motherhood and life is really valuable.

The ebook itself is really well done, with plenty of Sarah's great photographs and is clearly laid out and easy to read. It sounds silly mentioning that, but an easy to read ebook is something I appreciate!

Sarah's put together a series of audio conversations that go along with the book, and I've found them to be really excellent. She also created a journal to go along with the book so you can write and bring together your own thoughts. She's kind enough to run a sale on the book until June 1st and it is a steal of a deal, so maybe take advantage soon!

(I'm an affiliate, so if you're interested and make a purchase through my link I'll get a small percentage. Thanks!)


{five}


Speaking of homeschooling, I never really write about it but we're still plugging along. For the most part I feel like this year has gone well. Which may be because I had severely low expectations, what with having a baby and a toddler and a preschooler in addition to Dom and Gemma basically being taught together.

I think one of the hardest things about homeschooling is of course breaking out of the mold of a traditional school mindset, with classes and subjects, and fears the kids aren't doing enough, which haven't been as bad for me since I was homeschooled myself. But those fears are always there and need to be put in their place, it is a lot of responsibility to be solely responsible for all of your child's development including their schooling.

I think we've reached a point where "school" is just a part of our daily routine and it seems to flow fairly well within our day. Since we've reached this sweet spot I think we'll continue to do our little schooling through the summer because it would be more disruptive at this point to stop it altogether and then go through trying to bring it back in September. We'll take off a week here and there for vacation, when Daddy has days off, and when we want to just pick up and go to the lake for the day and I won't feel guilty one bit!

{six}





Our day looks pretty informal. We don't even have a specific "morning time" but usually read aloud every morning, rotating through different books each day, books on the saints, the Bible and religion, then good quality fairy tales or My Book House, then maybe just picture books they've picked from the library, and various books on animals, birds, etc. The kids and I usually need a break just from that, so they'll play for awhile, and I'll do a little cleaning, get the baby down for her nap, read a blog. Once Nora's napping I'll try and get Luke preoccupied with stickers, drawing, just reading a Lego book while trying to contain the Max chaos. He ends up in his room 50% of the time for school if he's being impossible, and he really does need a little break by that time in the morning regardless.

Then while Nora's sleeping I'll work though the writing and reading lesson with Gemma and Dom for the day. We've been using the Primary Arts of Language program and we usually need two or three days to go through each lesson. The kid's seem to enjoy it, and they are learning a lot and reading quite well I think, so I'm on board with it. It doesn't take us too long to work through the lesson, usually 30-45 minutes by which point everyone's fully done.

Math doesn't get done till after lunch when everyone's been reset and all the babies have been dealt with. It's not the best time, but if we devout a solid 15-20 minutes to it we get a lot done. I've recently bought the A Beka math books for the summer because using the Singapore Math program for Grade 1 was just turning out to be too much work on my part for not very much reward on the kid's learning part.

If I ever write a homeschooling ebook it will be called The Lazy Girl's Guide to Homeschooling. Has that been written already? It probably didn't sell well. And that is enough homeschool talk for everyone today.

{seven}

I love that the trees are budding and finally getting leaves, that the kids are right this moment playing outside, and that it's warm out! I am a million times more grateful for summer this year. It smells like heaven outside too, and I fall asleep to the sounds of frogs croaking and owls hooting out my gloriously wide open window!

Hope everyone has a great spring weekend and long weekend in the States!







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