Upside down or right side up?

So I feel as if I've been a bit discombobulated lately. I can't quite put my finger on it but it's coming up in all sorts of strange ways. I'm being surprised by how I feel about random things that usually go unnoticed, or at the very least, un-freaked-out over. Usually I can blame these topsy-turvy emotional reactions to pregnancy but that's most definitely not the case now and so my default in dealing with things seems to be different. Or nonexistent. Geez, pregnancy hormones, you've become my default position in ignoring things!

For instance, we're going away this weekend to my best friend's wedding. About nine hours travel, and we're leaving the boys up here with my in-laws. We're taking the girls - so only two babies (and ok, I guess a six year old doesn't even qualify as a toddler anymore!) which definitely equates to mini-vacay! And usually when I leave even one kid at home to go grocery shopping I'm all, "Woo-hoo party time!" but for some reason the thought of leaving my little boys for four days has me totally anxious.

I feel as if I'm abandoning my little 22 month old baby Max. Which is funny because even though he really is still a baby he hasn't been the baby around here for the past seven months. This results in a more independent baby for the most part. Oh sure, he's still completely avoiding use of the English language and doesn't like to go downstairs without me,  nor leave my line of sight, but I guess I'd gotten used to assuming he somehow was much older than his age. Faced with leaving him for a couple days, which when I started to think about will be the longest I've left him for in his little life, makes me feel as if I'm abandoning a helpless newborn.

I'm just surprised by this reaction because you know me, I'm usually d-y-i-n-g for a break. Any break. Actually, I'm dying right at this moment. And anyone who knows Max knows that his noise level is too darn high for most of his waking hours. So a break of a couple days from a even a bit of my workload in the diaper changing/toddler tantrum enduring department should be a fun time. Heck, I can even drink at this wedding, I should be letting the good times a-roll! What does this mean? Dare I say maturity? Motherly experience? A heart made of stone melted?

Or maybe that I just love my trouble making, tantrum throwing, screeching, non-verbal, adorable, hilarious, blonde baby boy. I'm just using this as one of the examples of the strange things that are seemingly upside-down to me these days. Like it being dark at 5 pm and feeling a sense of anxiety about what I don't know. Fearing to pack one of the kids preferred pajamas which, of course, signals end times. Being a little too happy when certain characters succumb to zombies on The Walking Dead. No, that last one has been true for the whole of that show's existence.

I should really be packing right now, not opining about my lack of internal insight, but I guess what has come out of this introspection is that it's probably a good sign that I still love my kids ineffably enough to miss them over the course of 4 days. Even the kids who have a high degree parenting of difficulty as well as the kids with a much lower degree of difficulty. They probably won't notice I'm gone, I'll definitely have my share of drinks and I'm sure have a wonderful time, we'll get home again and realize a little break did us all good, that is after we're over the grandparent-time behaviour hangover and the mountains of dirty laundry!

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What I Wore Sunday - November edition

Hope you're all having a blessed couple of holy days!

This whole extra hour of sleep last night was also a pleasant little surprise...of course that is, if that extra hour involved sleeping by the small people in your home...but I digress.

I thought I'd just pop in with a little What I Wore Sunday contribution because I was wearing new boots. And basically that's all the impetus I need to get back on the bandwagon!

My husband said of my clothing: "Hey, I don't even mind that outfit."

I was breaking out the blazer and pants because we're beginning the great season of "Mass in the Dark" and things are getting chillier around here. 

I broke out cords, a jacket, and striped shirt. Hopefully an ok combo that doesn't quite say "job interview" or "mom who gets out once a week". Both things I'm trying not to project to the 15 people at Mass, but then again one of those statements is true. And the little boots are new and I still kinda feel like a dork wearing them.

We're off to enjoy the first snow of the season...and by enjoy I mean begrudgingly make the kids go outside. 

Enjoy your Sunday by visiting the fashionistas at Fine Linen and Purple!

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Seven Quick Takes - Halloween Edition

Halloween 'taking because all the cool kids are doing it! Go to Jen's to see those cooler peeps.

{one}

Nora is not down with this.

I remember when I used to like Halloween. It must have been more than 4 years ago.

 I have to admit I was completely uncreative, bought all my children the popular secular princess/superhero costume of their choice, and still came out of Halloween exhausted.

Halloween is also Luke's birthday though, so that makes it a double whammy when it comes to mommy-work. So I had wake up, have everything look special for Luke's birthday, special breakfast- yada yada, then bake a cake, make a soup so we would have supper ready when we got home from trick-or-treating, find everyone's costumes, build birthday Lego (which I'm terrible at), put costumes on four children, find winter clothes that fit under said costumes, feed babies so they could be ready to be left with my mom while I drove the kids into town for trick-or-treating, met Paul on his way home from work, trick-or-treated for about 45 minutes with the kids, drove home, fed everyone supper, opened presents, sang happy birthday, ate cake, while taking pictures of everything -of course, got all those sugar crazed kids in bed, ate half a bag of candy and one too many Tootsie Rolls, went to bed, woke up half an hour later to grumpy baby. Exhausted.  

{two}

Tired. Frazzled. I was a bit of a frazzled grump at times yesterday when the kids asked for the 5 millionth time if it was time to go trick or treating yet, but it still wasn't my most exhausting Halloween ever, because I gave birth on October 31, 2009.

And so I really love October 31 for it being the day our wonderful Luke was born. So far its a bit challenging trying to not make Halloween a bigger deal than Luke's birthday, and hopefully when the kids are a bit bigger Luke can have parties where everyone comes in costume or something and he'll still enjoy it. But as it stands now he thinks Halloween happens on his birthday and not the other way around. Which is a pretty good way to roll I think.

{three}

Here's my little superheroes. They were pretty adorable. And if you don't think that the Hulk costume is not 100% applicable to Max's personality, you'd be 100% wrong. It was really fitting and ridiculous. Just the way I like my costumes.

{four}

Gemma wore a brand spanking new princess dress and actually allowed her hair to be brushed and declared herself Rapunzel! Making the new dress and the combed hair the only changes necessary to make her everyday outfit Halloween approved!

{five}

And Nora.

She went as "Mildly unimpressed infant who turns into Screaming Baby every night" kinda like a werewolf. She didn't even need a costume. But she is only really scary at 3 am when you've only had 2 hours of sleep. 

{six}

We trick or treated in town and went for maybe 45 minutes. It was like summer compared to the -30 degrees Celsius it was last Halloween, but there was a bit of chilly rain and wind but still temperatures above zero which is amazing! That being said, everyone had coats on underneath their costumes, because its Canada dammit. Gemma had to wear a hat which was a fate worse than death and not princess approved, but they all categorically refused mitts. Thankfully they've still got all their digits contrary to their grandmother's warnings.

And here's the gigantic haul of candy three small children got from about 3 blocks worth of houses in a little more than half an hour. Its seriously incredible how much candy this town gives out! And these are the bags after we raided all the full size chocolate bars, bags of sour soothers, and most of the Reese's and Tootsie Rolls!

{seven}

With all this Halloween madness I'm a little, teeny, tiny bit thankful we don't have any Saints Day to-do. I mean, would I trade a lazier day for a nearby Catholic community with other children who celebrated the feast days with social events?! Hell, yeah. But I still feel exhausted just from yesterday. 

Since in Canada today is not a Holy Day of Obligation -I KNOW!!-and my husband's regular Friday off from work, he stayed home with the kids this morning and I got to go to Mass solo which was pretty darn amazing. Obviously a small All Saints Day miracle! 

We'll be celebrating by a small smattering of colouring of saints pages, reading some of our little saints books for kids, and eating some Oh St. Henry! bars. 

(Have I mentioned I'm in a wedding next weekend and shouldn't be eating pounds of chocolate bars? Oh, well I am. Thank goodness God created Spanx!)

Happy All Saints Day everyone, and here's to a blessed weekend as we pray for All Souls!

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Child's play

Humor me as we descend into mushy-mommy land.

There's not much more (ok, of course, just-birthed newborns) that makes my mommy heart swell as much as seeing my kids playing. Especially their first forays into play. There's something almost magical about a little person who was once totally dependent on you for any form of happiness begin to figure things out for themselves, and figure things out enough to bring themselves enjoyment with their own imaginations and bodies. Its just awesome.

They're not producing, or making, or consuming, or whining, or demanding, or even being entertained, they're just playing. Nothing needed but maybe a simple toy or two, and magic - a happy baby beginning to figure the world out. Beginning to figure out what he likes to do, how he likes to do it, what he thinks about it; basically just figuring out what living is about.

It always makes me wonder if our natural human state is like this. A simple state of happiness that uses our imaginations for pure pleasure, maybe some creativity and imagination, by just being. I wonder if God gets the same pleasure we do when looking down on us as children when we're simply happy with those around us, with having enough, with not doing, or producing, or consuming, or even "thinking" deep philosophical thoughts?

I know Max, in all his 22 months of ex-utero experience is just beginning to find the joys of providing himself with his own world of imagination and happiness, and yes it begins to come in the form of pushing cars around with "broom, broom" sounds. I hope he doesn't loose the delight that comes from simple pleasures, or forget that sweet, quiet moments of happiness can come easily at any time if we only choose to make them.

I also hope this stage of playing with markers on everything in sight ends real quick.

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Seven Quick Takes vol. 64

So happy to be joining Cari at Clan Donaldson, who is hosting the Great Takes this week!

I'm so looking forward to Cari's new book, but apparently we get pre-sale books here in Canada years later than in the States?? Hopefully I'll get it in the mail before winter sets in and we're snowed in for six months unable to make it to the post office...

{one}

Well, I'm mining one boring week for takes this week. Nothing too adventurous happened. Which is probably a good thing as compared to the alternative! We plugged away at school, read a fair amount, still got outside which was great, and got by on very little sleep. Ok, just me got by on very little sleep. Nora's nighttime sleep is absolutely the pits and I'm trying more and more techniques that have yet to be too successful. I'm getting a little doubtful that there is a magic Nora sleep recipe. I'm still partly sure its teething but she's got to be the longest teether I've ever had before they sprouted. I'm just starting to feel all around exhausted. But this is pretty normal non-newsmaking baby stuff. In newsworthy mom news-I've survived the week on coffee and donuts. 

{two}

I'm guest posting today over at Messy Wife, Blessed Life for sweet Mandi! 

It's a post on saints for the multi-tasking mom - because, is there any other kind??

Please come on by and say hi!

{three}

Any crafting officinados out there want to give me suggestions for their favourite yarn? I'm just looking for a nice quality wool blend with decent colours that doesn't cost more than a good bottle of wine. 

 I love yarn and choosing but the choices out there are crazy and sorta overwhelming! I had flashbacks to looking at homeschooling curriculum from the summer when I looked at all the beautiful yarn brands yesterday. 

And I've forgotten what my favourite ones have been in the past. This is what happens when I only craft between babies. Big breaks. I'm just looking to make some scarves for the kids. I feel like store bought scarves for kids are either too wide or too short and not warm enough. And its a project not too outside of my limited scope and talent.

{four}

I caught the boys playing with their foam swords the other day and over heard Luke telling Dom, "You've got to pray to God now!" in a fairly commanding tone of voice while dangling a plastic rosary from the end of the sword in a threatening stance over Dom's head. Dominic went on to tell me he had just killed someone so now needed to pray to God. And Luke was just pushing him in that direction because he was the King. It all made so much sense. It makes me wonder how teaching about the Crusades will go over...I'm thinking pretty well.

{five}

I don't know if everyone read this post from Deacon Greg this morning but I just loved this quote from Pope Francis: 

“When I hear the confession of a young married man or woman, and they refer to their son or daughter, I ask, ‘How many children do you have?’ and they tell me. Maybe they’re expecting another question after that, but I always ask, ‘And tell me, do you play with your children? Do you waste time with your children?’ The free gift of a parent’s time is so important.”

I just love it because it's so very true and beautiful.

{six}

If you could spare a quick prayer for home education in Alberta that would be much appreciated! The ridiculous provincial government is trying to make wide ranging regulatory changes that would dramatically impact the freedom of how homeschooling works in the province through a committee that won't even be open to voting by the legislature. Its all so cheery isn't it? Anyway, I'm getting in such a bad mood having to email all these politicians about their stupidity. I'll take some prayers for my foul mood, too.

{seven}

I swear I had something in mind for a number seven and its completely and utterly left me. I blame this ridiculous case of baby brain. Honestly, I can't even go half an hour without forgetting something. Its killing me! 

Oh! I think it was this - because I just love them!

I wish I wore more hats to my children's baptisms...

Happy Weekend everyone!

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Five Faves - Recipes, Books, Old Lady Slippers

I'm back with a couple random favourites...and let me warn you, they are RANDOM!

1.

These old lady slippers. From Costco, but apparently never seen on the internet before. 

Colour me a 75 year old grandma, but these slippers are the best things ever. Obviously, the frump factor is high, but the comfort factor far outweighs the ugly! The sheepskin is perfect for my circulation-challenged tootsies, and the soles are super comfy because it appears I spend a lot of time on my feet at home. Anyway, I wear these all the time and I honestly can't believe I didn't buy them at Costco sooner. They're also a fraction of the price of the big brand names, which I'm sure also feel great, but there ya go. 

2.



The Baby Whisperer.

Whenever anyone asks me secrets to my baby sleep training I just say The Baby Whisperer. And specifically this book. All the tips I'd give someone come directly from this book so I feel like a plagiarist giving advice. I like this book and Happiest Baby on the Block, but unlike Happiest Baby on the Block this book gives way more tips for different types of behaviour. It goes way beyond just sleeping to cover most baby and toddler issues with feeding and behaviour in general. I don't follow everything, obviously, but I feel like her approach isn't too far off from attachment parenting ideals but far more practical and always rings of common sense. Even if you don't believe in sleep training (because you're a martyr or something) this book has a lot of other great tips, I think everyone would find something worthwhile in at least checking this book out. I'm so thankful I read this when Gemma was six months old and that I had these tips when I would go on to have 5 babies in six years because I would be so hooped if I didn't have these tips and babies/toddlers that wouldn't sleep!

3.

 

Magnificat Children's Books.

These are the books we let our kids have during Mass. I always mean to write up a whole post about them, but since I haven't gotten around to it I'll mention them here.

I find the pictures to be sweet and the content excellent for small kids. My husband thinks they're a little young for our older kids now, but they're perfect for ages 2-3 I think. The older kids really like the Catholic Bible as it has just the right amount of bloody battle scenes and nativity scenes. I'd like to say they entertain the kids through all of Mass, but even for a decent distraction when all hell is about to brake loose they work fairly well. We leave them in our pew at church, because we have a pew - I know! Small town church what can I say! - so they only see them once a week which always helps with attention span. Anyways, you really can't have enough religious board books, am I right?!

4.

This tomato soup recipe.

I used up the last of the garden tomatoes a few weeks ago with this recipe and it was amazing. I may have added an additional brick of cream cheese...because, I mean! But its a great use of the last of your garden tomatoes and tomatoes that are no longer "perfect" because you just throw them in the oven to roast, and its from Smitten Kitchen so its obviously going to be awesome.

5.

Bastille

Their song "Pompeii" has been in my head for weeks. And it'll get stuck in yours. The whole album is decent, and Dominic knows all the words to a couple songs already. So I hope they're kid appropriate...I'll have to go check!
You're welcome.

Make sure to go see Hallie and all the lovely ladies with their favourites, and have a weekend-like Wednesday!

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The Difference Between Your First Baby Not Sleeping at Night and Your Fifth Baby Not Sleeping at Night

 First child, the thumb-sucker. Pretty sure she was about 4 months old at this point, and had a radical conversion to sleep.

Spoiler Alert! In reality, not much.

But in my mind there is a slight bit of difference between what used to rage through my brain when my first baby wouldn't sleep at night and now when my fifth baby doesn't sleep at night.

My first dear child didn't sleep much at all in her first three or so months due to some vicious, evil, malicious colic. She wouldn't sleep in the daylight, in the darkness, while moving, swaddled,  or nursing; no sleeping ever. I do remember some nights where we would drive up and down our bumpy country roads and after about 45 minutes she'd fall asleep, but then wake up minutes after we got home. I remember staying up at all hours, rocking, nursing, shushing her and completely believing this was how the rest of my life was going to play out. I would never sleep again. Ever. And I believed that with my whole being.

Because it was my first baby and I had no concept of a baby's insanely fast growth and the heightened speed of time once you have children, and thus could not fathom a time where my child could ever function, let alone sleep at all, without my constant attention. Sure, I was completely exhausted and irrational, but the thought of ever sleeping again seemed to be at similar odds as a alien landing on my lawn.

It was an almost hopeless state of mind. This state of mind, as I'm sure you know, doesn't do much to  create a cheerful disposition. It actually crushes all happiness and prospects of ever feeling anything other than akin to a flattened coffee cup on a busy highway.

Fifth child, the newborn-sleeping champ.

The difference when you have your fifth baby and they don't sleep at night is that you simultaneously can't believe you've done this and survived four previous times, and also believe that in reality it's probably going to pass in a couple weeks, maybe months, and surprisingly, you're ok with that idea. Sure, you still feel like as if you've been smashed into the pavement by heavy machinery, but somehow you feel as if this is your natural environment. There's also that glimmer of hope that maybe, just maybe, you'll make it through the first year of the child's life and once again maybe string together a couple solid hours of sleep. It becomes a more natural mindset. You adapt.

That being said, I can also attest to their being no magic that comes from being a mom to many. I think I had been misinformed in the past because I had this strange belief that mothers of a gaggle of children somehow only had children who slept through the night. How else could they possibly handle a sleepless baby and other people to care for?! But alas, no magic. There is also no "Mom-of-Many" magic that keeps you from still getting frustrated, exhausted, insane, and a little hopeless feeling when you go a few nights of little to no sleep. As much as I hope I deal with sleeplessness a little better than my past only-a-mom-to-one-baby self who acted as if the world was coming to a swift and dramatic end, I'm pretty sure I'm still a royal pain to live with the next day, who becomes more than a little bit of a yelly-mummy, a slight ogre in regards to noise levels, who ends up despising whoever created so much laundry in the house.

At the very least when I deal with a baby who's not sleeping I have a veritable arsenal of sleep training techniques. Because of the success I've had in the past of combatting almost any sleep issue in babies, I've come to have a little more confidence that sleep training does work and pays off in spades. I also know that sleep training's success rate works in direct relation with how much effort I put in with consistency and sometimes that requires sacrificing sleep at night. In addition to this knowledge, I know that I don't have to follow everything the book says if I'm really tired and just want to get through the night squeezing as much sleep as I can get. I take all these things a little easier with my fifth baby. I know that sometimes I'm just going to have to do what I can to survive, but that I can always return to sleep techniques that will help a baby learn to sleep. And maybe one blessed day they'll sleep. Through the night. And I'll be able to enjoy it.

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