Thursday, January 18, 2018

Living off the grid - time wise

I've been thinking lately how my daily routine as an at home mom has changed over the years. And it has changed a lot over the years but at the same time it hasn't. I sometimes have deep questioning thoughts if I'm a truly boring person who abhors change, or if I'm using routine because that's life with a bunch of kids.

I think I question because, frankly, I live really oddly. Living in a rural area and homeschooling means I don't actually even see a town some days. I don't have to get kids to school, I don't have to pick them up. I don't run errands, I don't hop in the car to grab coffee or see people. Which I'm sure makes me seem like a complete anti-social hermit. I get out of my house by walking down the road every day I don't go to town/the city to see my parents.

My schedule isn't made by anything outside of my own home and mostly, me. I'm the boss of me! I decide when I get up, when my kids get up, when school and sit down work gets done, what activities we go to and when, and usually when choosing these things they fit into my general routine. As in we focus on school most every morning barring a weird doctors appointment, make most activities fit into afternoons, and if not we have the flexibility to work other things around to make the things that don't fit perfectly work. I choose how to spend my time after I've dealt with school and kids. I decide when to cook and eat dinner. There are short periods of time where things get disrupted for one thing or another and I can feel the difference and stress it creates. I feel maxed out and rushed, but at the same time very unproductive.

Obviously I'm only speaking for me and my own weird existence, but whether it's from living this way for so long or not, I feel like I would really not enjoy living according to outside schedules. I mean, I would have to adapt, and I know I could do it, but I really don't want to! And I mean this in a very general way, because we all have appointments, and Mass, and activities, and meetings and lots of things that we have to show up for at certain times, but not having the daily rhythm of my day determined by outside factors is pretty swell.

But that's so odd! I'm so weird! It's so distinctly un-modern and uncommon. As a society we're so used to being told what to do, where to go, and when to be there. Which happens for very important reasons, but have we thought about the overreach of them all in our lives that much? Do we ever question "school" and work and the myriad of things we think we have to do? We really do have control over our own time.

I think I partly took to routine and making sure I'm making choices of how and when I fit all the things of life into my day because I had a bunch of babies in a short amount of time! Babies and their routines make you figure out that there should be a routine to your day, that you function better if you sleep, eat, and play on a regular schedule. As an adult this is still true. And as the adult of a bunch of babies, your way of survival is to get all babies on the same routine as to not lose your mind completely. As the fiftieth caveat of this short post; of course my babies weren't perfectly scheduled every day of their life, but the general rhythm of routine in our days was something that over time I learned really helped everyone including myself. Knowing that most days I'd have nap times to get a little time for myself was hugely relieving. Knowing that when babies woke up, I would nurse, then they would play put in perspective that their needs needed to be met before mine. And the list goes on and on.

I would never tell anyone to live as weirdly as I do. But I do think that intentionally looking at how we spend our time and how to use it valuably for ourselves; what we want to spend our time on, instead of the other way around and being forced to live in the leftovers of time the outside world dictates, can change our perspectives on how we're living our lives.

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Wednesday, January 3, 2018

Hello 2018

Photo by Sam Beasley on Unsplash

I'm alive, but Blogger doesn't know it and asked me for my password. Which felt so uncomfortable. Like seeing an old high school acquaintance in a crowded bar, you should know them and they should know you, but you both don't really want to dredge up ancient history.

Thankfully, Google, unlike deadbeat high school friends, remembers your password, or at least resends it to you when you forget.

I feel like I forget how to blog to be quite honest. Which also feels kinda crumby because I think I used to be good at it. I definitely have always enjoyed it. And somehow in all the busy-ness I've let this drop which was not intentional. I am definitely a creature of habit so once I was out of the habit of blogging it seemed so impossible to pick up again. I've never had a sole purpose to the blog other than it for me to be an outlet to post whatever I want, whenever I want. I'm not a good documenter of everything my family does, and I hope my children's memories suffice. In these post-blog days we're not really defined by "niche" or "audience" or "sponsorships" much. Which is all alright for me, because I really just enjoy the practice of writing, the exchange of thoughts and lives of other women online. You're all a treasure for reading!

I've been busy elsewhere doing fun, creative "work" that really brings me life that I'm so grateful for. I love podcasting. I love writing and contributing to Blessed is She. They've both been richly rewarding for the amount of time I put in, which at times is definitely not as much as I wish I could put it.

But 2018, I'm going to blog. It might not be often, or earth-shattering, or well-curated, but dang it, it's going to be published. And if that's not a rousing endorsement to follow the heck out of this space, then you're a far more discerning reader than I!

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