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I don't honestly know why I can't blog anything lately. But I have to keep up the quick takes for my sanity. If anything. I swear I'm having thoughts - it's just that everyone else is writing them so much better than I could anyway!
It's been kinda the week where you're already feeling a bit overwhelmed and yet each day a little something more gets added on top. It's nothing horrible, it's really just life stuff, ya know? Life stuff in the sense that everyone has crosses and that's just a fact. I know mine could be much worse which makes me feel like I should just get on with it, but at the same time I'm soooo tired of having to grow so much in "perseverance" and "fortitude". I guess my faith and hope are dwindling in one area and I feel like calling it quits. When do you get to say "uncle" in the hard stuff? Because I'm passing over nine years and I am oh so tired of it.
There. My cryptic spiritual angst for the day. Apologies.
On a really wonderful note that made my whole week was this beautiful post written by Colleen on motherhood and finding that sweet spot of pursuing your own interests while giving your vocation of motherhood everything you've got. I really think that the thing is that the two aspects aren't meant to be separate. They may look very different from what we think we want or what pre-supposed pictures we had for ourselves, but they can still exist and give you a lot.
I think what gets tangled is that we equate "having it all" with both giving of yourself in your vocation to motherhood and pursuing your interests. But "having it all" at one time doesn't exist. I think the fact that women are still pressured to pursue "having it all" is from the mistaken feminist idea that having it all is just being as successful professionally as a man, or pursuing your own wants and desires to the fullest extent. I think from the Catholic understanding of motherhood, in that each woman regardless of vocation or biological procreation, is called to that journey and life giving. It's about self-sacrifice and humility most of the time, and it calls us to holiness which is much greater and a much bigger thing than simply a successful career path that imitates a man's corporate ladder climbing.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not anti-feminism, I'm just saying that the culture in which we've grown up is a feminism that is incomplete. That doesn't give us a true understanding of what motherhood is and that motherhood is meant to be life-giving not only to our children but to ourselves. And life-giving to ourselves means becoming whole-er, holier people who may be sacrificing for their families, but at the same time still able to pursue interests and work and tons of other things in different contexts than we naturally assume, in a different time frame than we assume we have to make it all happen within.
Anyways! Big thoughts, I'm not sure thats very clear, but Colleen's post was so great and I'm truly flattered that my rambles sparked such smart thoughts. Go check it out.
Gemma's first confession is tomorrow and I'm totally freaking out she isn't prepared. I think it's probably a lot of first child anxiety which I need to just get through. Power through those knee-jerk first child freak outs, Christy!!
I'm really excited for her, and she's really excited, and I'm sure it'll be fine. Great. Just going to talk myself down over here...
This week of not doing any school work has been really nice. The kids are running around all the time, I'm constantly trying to keep tabs on the big kids who are riding bikes everywhere -- and Max who doesn't really have much regard for staying within my sight lines. In short; not quite sure if it's easier than school days. I'm reminded of how crazy I am to homeschool at this time of year when everyone begins freaking out their kids will be home...I think, "huh, maybe I really am nuts having them around all the time??!!" It's weird to think there's another possibility!
We had a lot of fun talking about saints and alcohol this week on the podcast with Michael Foley. His new book Drinking with the Saints is really fantastic. Saints + cocktails is a recipe for success I think. I talked about my love of St. Germaine, and I think I'm going to buy some bubbly tomorrow so I can make the cocktail we talked about in the episode! We'll see how it tastes! I'm also on a mission to only by alcohol with a saint name.
Next week on the podcast Haley and I are answering listener questions, and they mostly turned out to be a lot of questions on motherhood stuff and I think we rambled quite eloquently. We aren't really giving any advice, just our thoughts so tune in next week.
Hope you all have a wonderful June weekend!
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