Joining Jen as usual, look out next week, I'll be in the top 100 for the first time ever!
I'm going to try and not write 7 whole takes about him because you've read about him as much as I have but its going to be tough because I think he's awesome.
It was funny Wednesday because I was feeling especially slow and awful so I thought if I'm going to lie like a lump I'm most definitely going to see the smoke come out live for once! (The two previous burnings I had to run to the kitchen to feed someone who apparently hadn't eaten in days, and then the morning burnings happened at 5 am so I wimped out and made my husband get out of bed and check for me-full disclosure!) I was sure it would be black, I thought we wouldn't have a Pope until Friday, then when the smoke turned white I just burst into tears. I have no idea why that moment in particular would be so emotional. But it just seemed so beautiful, and it felt like such a moving of the Holy Spirit for a decision to come so quickly, to no longer be shepherd-less, to be taken care of once again. Then I called the kids upstairs to tell them we have a new Pope. Gemma and Dom were very excited by the bell ringing, and instantly Gemma wanted to know who it was and where he was. And then I told her he'd be out in a few minutes, que the longest hour of waiting for the Pope to emerge with toddlers ever!
I find the whole conclave/election of the pope beyond fascinating. And is it sorta awful to admit that I was worried I'd go into labor on the day of the election and wouldn't be able to watch the coverage? Yeah, I'm a big nerd. I think I've read every article and link to Pope Francis I've seen in the last two days as well. I may be a bit addicted. I used to say that if there was a major in Papal Studies I woulda taken it. I love Popes, what can I say?
I'm sure this will be commented upon by wiser minds than mine, but I find it interesting that it seems the Holy Spirit brings men to the Papacy who have faced incredible political persecution in the past. Obviously JPII and Pope Benedict faced the horrors of World War II and Communism, and now Pope Francis having lived through and witnessed a different dictatorship and persecution of the Church, I think it says a lot about the suffering that these men have gone through and understand. I think that's also why us cushy North Americans won't have a native Pope for a while. A cushy Western existence just can't hold a candle to the faith it must take to live through a time of such severe persecution for simply having faith. I think this background applies to the majority of Catholics in the world as well, we just don't quite understand that.
Oh and btw, I'm still pregnant.
I cannot describe how slowly time is passing. I'm so miserable and uncomfortable I hardly have energy to clean up the kitchen over the course of a couple hours. I'm so very weary. I'm just so tired of being tired all the time, tired of being grumpy, tired of not moving, tired of not sleeping well, tired of this whole pregnancy she-bang! And I truly hate to whine about it...really! I still can't quite believe that I'll ever not be pregnant. A couple more weeks? Days? I'm now 37 weeks so I'm in the clear in regards to being able to have my baby at the birth centre with my midwife instead of going to a hospital so that is great. All my babies have been early, the earliest being a day short of 37 weeks then Max at 38 weeks, and then Luke was born just a couple days before my due date. So I'm trying to be mentally prepared to go into labor at any time, but in reality could last another two weeks, and at that thought I just want to cry!
Max is majorly teething. Like five molars at the same time. His mouth is a little pit of razor blades trying to mangle his gums. Of course, this puts both him and me in the greatest of moods all day long. I'm definitely resorting to more drugs than usual. Not that they seem to make him any happier. He basically wonders the house whining and crying for things he can't have. Oh wait, that's basically what I do these days too! I should have a little more compassion!
Max's teething is one thing I've got no patience for, but its only one item on the long list of basically every toddler-like action requiring basic mothering. I'm starting to feel some heavy mom-guilt about my lack of energy to play with the kids, take the kids out of the house, do any form of school with Gemma, have any basic patience with their little foibles. I really hate the feeling that I'm not doing my best. And I know that in reality I'm doing the best I can with the lack of energy and the growing of another human and all, but still feel so guilty about not giving the others the attention I usually give them, or at least attempt most of the time. Its these awful end of pregnancy feelings that I always associate with pregnancy as a whole when I contemplate being pregnant again. The feeling crummy, the lack of energy, the falling behind with the other kids. These feelings are the ones I remember when I'm not pregnant and make me completely terrified at the thought of another pregnancy. Even though in reality the majority of being pregnant I handle pretty well, and of course I've learned that this time of chaos and not enough energy is really a drop in the bucket of my time spent with my kids. And that they bounce back quickly, and seem to not hold a grudge against me.
One thing this pregnancy has proven: we need a new couch. Ours is so crappy I sink in and can barely get out of it these days. We definitely deserve a new one. Mostly me. So I'm going to start shopping for a fairly good one this spring. We've been putting off this kinda thing, mostly because its a giant time suck to go furniture shopping in the city when the city is two hours away and you have four, and now five, children to have taken care of.
Well, this wasn't a completely emotionally disjointed quick takes at all was it?
Hope everyone has a fun weekend-Happy St. Patrick's Day!